Thursday, January 31, 2008
Too Many Pints Will Do This to a Person
So, you've probably heard by now that Ian Poulter is going to be the next Sergio Garcia/Phil Mickelson/Ernie Els/Vijah Singh to Mr. Woods.
Poulter said in an interview that he believes "I haven't played to my full potential yet. And when that happens it will just be me and Tiger."
I'm pretty sure now is the time to let everyone know that Tiger and Ian (nice name) are the same age and Mr. Poulter has never won on the PGA Tour. Even higher comedy - his best finish was at the WGC American-Express Championships in 2006 TO TIGER WOODS!
So, with the hilarity of this in mind, I'm going to jot down a few quotes from Poulter that could have been more sensible than his prediction that El Tigre will have to share the gold medal podium with him in the near future.
"Anytime Mickelson wants to play me left-handed, I'm game. Nobody on tour can spell ambidextrous like I."
"Ray Lewis - pussy."
"Three things the English have that Americans want - great food, Hollywood weather and prefect chompers."
"Mike Tyson - pussy."
"These pants? Yeah, they're dockers."
"Major I'd most want to win? PGA Championship - that has always been a dream of mine."
"I've always been a gym rat. Ever since I was old enough to lift. I've tried to get this thing to catch on in the United States but it seems none of the golfers here, especially the successful ones, care about their figure."
"Ryder Cup prediction? US in a landslide."
"Chuck Liddell - pussy."
"I'm only going to tell you this once, but I could really see myself winning the Grand Slam in 08. These courses have just always fit my eye."