Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Duke-UNC 2008 Drinking Game

So, I Googled this to make sure I wasn't stepping on any toes, and it appears the only "Drinking game" version of this is ESPN U, and a drinking game at anything ESPN is only fun if Dana Jacobson oversees it.

Anyway, for the game, whenever it is, this is your guide to a good slosh-fest with your buddies.

Anytime, during the opening monologue, Dick Vitale's voice raises high enough to make you turn the volume down - two drinks

If and when a Duke player slaps the floor - one whiskey shot and then text your obligatory Duke friend "You guys are dorks"

Anytime Tyler Hansborough looks like a confused character from "The Blair Witch Project" - one swig (I didn't mention, you'll probably be drunk fairly quick)

Anytime an announcer calls one of the players "a real hard worker" or "a passionate player" - two swigs

If, at any point, the camera catches a hot girl in the flood of Cameron Crazies - down all bottles in house

Any mention of Greg Paulus being an All-American quarterback in high school - two shots of strongest liquor in house

Any flashback - two swigs

Any Ty Lawson injury mention - one swig

If, at any point, Dicky V argues that "both of these great programs deserves a top seed in this "townament"" - four shots

Any and all awkward two-handed strange, kinda sideways dunks by Hansbrough - four swigs

At any point, the following thought passes through your mind - "I'm almost positive I could take Kyle Singler one-on-one" - shotgun beer

If at any point, Wayne Ellington jumps into the crowd to save a ball, and a Crazzzzie slaps him in the face, which leads to a fight between Ellington and fan, meanwhile, Coach K heads to the UNC bench and tackles Roy Williams, as Wojo starts bitch-slapping Joe Holladay and Dicky V keeps screaming "Excitement All Night here is CAMMMMERRRRRRON" - stop drinking, join church, quit watching sports, life as you know it has peaked

If you have any suggestions, add 'em.


Steve said...

I have one to add..

Anytime you write a blog entry jealous about the greatest rivalry in ALL of sports.. drink a bottle of Jack, wake up, and then realize you don't have a life..

Sebastian said...

where is the blog about yankees/sox? I must have missed that.

Hernandez Jones said...

Anyone who tries to tell someone they don't have a life, WHILE CRITICIZING A BLOG, certainly doesn't have a lot of room to talk now, does he? Steve- you sir, are a douche. And probably a Duke fan. I'm not sure what's worse.

Ghost of Carl Monday said...

firmly in HJ's corner, though both schools eat healthy amounts of dangle, truth be told

German Village Media said...

wow steve is a retard. hernandez jones nailed it: steve = douche. i'd bet that steve's never been to a duke-unc game, didn't attend either school, is working on finishing up his online degree program between shifts at bennigans and lives in his mom's basement. just guessing.

and as much as i love yankees/sox games, michigan/osu is the biggest rivalry, sea-bass. just sayin'.

p.s. i like the drinking game, but i'm pretty sure my liver would jump out of my freakin' body and punch me in the face if i tried to keep up through the whole game.

Hernandez Jones said...

Carl Monday, and his ghost, are very wise. I would agree Carl (and his ghost) - but for some reason Steve's comment reeked of Puke. I can't exactly put my finger on why...

Steve said...

Actually a proud UNC fan and 1996 graduate.. have attended a couple Duke-UNC games while in school so I am quite versed in the rivalry. My issue was with this jag-off's attempt to demean it.. considering this "douche" writes on a free blog site.

FL25M said...

Steve, what year did your sense of humor graduate?

Steve said... thats the funniest thing on this page

Steve said...

Wait I take that last post back..

the funniest thing is actually your profile name "BombG"

Exactly when did you become a whigga?

BombG said...

Well, Stephen, the thing about nicknames, is you don't choose your own. People who have long last names, like "Baumgardner", tend to have them shortened by their friends. Is it great? No. But better then "Bummy". I'm flattered you are checking out my profile though. I'm sorry to disappoint you that I don't have any penis pics posted there. What exactly is a "whigga" also? Is that some kind of North Carolina redneck confederate term? I think Hansbrough qualifies either way.

BombG said...

Steve, you are doing an excellent job of proving your initial point, that these pathetic sports bloggers have no lives. Especially compared to you, he of the all-day comment board activity.

Steve said...

Just cause friends gave you the nickname..doesn't mean you had to "ebonic" it.. or use it in your profile for the whole internets to see..

and your fake ignorance of what whigga means is offensive

Steve's Mom said...

Stephen! Are you playing around on the internet again?!? Stop masturbating into that Jerry Stackhouse jersey and take out the garbage! HOw can you object to the "ebonification" of this young man's nickname and then go on to use an ebonic term yourself? I taught you better than that young man! Just because people from North Carolina hate black people doesn't mean we have to go writing mundane comments about it! And tell this Roy Williams fellow to stop calling here, once and for all, I'm not going to host a gangbang for all his players!

Hernandez Jones said...

Steve...about that whole "doesn't have a life" thing. Do you realize that you've commented four times on this thing today, even checking someones blogger profile? Sweet dude.

Deniece said...

Holy sh*t!!!
Bacon, this is awesome!
Here I am catching up on your blog and getting ready to leave a comment only to stumble across the "battle" taking place in your "comments" link...

VERY entertaining!

YouCantHideBenLinusEyes said...

BombG wins Steve loses!!!!

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