Wie Out in Even Par, One-Over Through 13

Well, it isn't as if she's tossing the tournament away in her first few holes.

A standard bogey on the first hole you can blame on nerves, Wie battled back from another stumble on the fifth hole with birdies on 6 and 9 to get back to even par. She has since bogeyed the par-3 12th to land in a tie for 77th, but has been fairly respectable so far considering all she's dealt with heading in.

If she can get around at even par for the day, she'd gain a little confidence and maybe be able to fire a number tomorrow to make the cut. If not, she'll be answering those nasty questions she should be used to by now.

You can keep up with the coverage on absolutely no channel because some networks are dumb.

John Daly is a Good Influence

You could list a thousand things that define John Daly and "role model" or "social drinker" would fine themselves on the list about the same time "male model" and "anorexic" did.

I guess getting drunk with John Daly sure is an intense way to be introduced to the bottle.

I actually have a girl friend of mine that had never drank until college. She came to college, I met her through a girl I was dating and we all headed to Rocky Point, Mexico for a weekend getaway. Her first shot she ever took in her entire life was Everclear. I figured if you did one of those to start, you'd never have something you couldn't take.

John Daly would be super proud of me right now.

[Via Deadspin]

Kenny Perry Might Not Be Great Against the Other Great Players

It's day one of the Bridgestone Invitational at Firestone and a few mini-story lines are unfolding.

South Africans are obviously a big fan of the course today. Retief Goosen shot a four-under 66 while fellow Bottom African Tim Clark shot a 67 and is tied in second place.

Chez Reavie showed today that last week wasn't just a fluke, posting a two-under 68, tied with Rocco Mediate, Phil Mickelson and a ton of other golfers.

The corpse of Vijay Singh shot a three-under 67 and everyone's favorite major misser, Kenny Perry, might be really good at winning random tour events, but is showing why missing the big tournaments might be sensible. Perry is four-over through 17 holes today and is currently tied for 72nd place out of just 80 golfers. I'm not a big math guy, but I don't think that is what you want.

Off To A Smashing Start

Michelle Wie made bogey on her first hole today. Watch out Lance Ten Broeck, she's coming for you.

Jeff Overton Is Making it an Uphill Climb for Wie

I'm sure at some point today we'll get to the Bridgestone Invitational, but it's Michelle Wie's world and we're just trying to make a couple of birdies in it.

Jeff Overton...excuse me, the Dominant Jeff Overton...fired a seven-under 65 to hold the lead in the clubhouse and nearly 40 golfers are under par so far in the Reno-Tahoe Open.

Good news for Wie though. She'd have to really struggle to finish in last place at this event. Some guy named Lance Ten Broeck (don't ask, I have no idea) posted a 16-over 88 that actually included back-to-back birdies at one point in the round. Wie would have to do something really stupid like not sign her scorecard or something to finish behind this guy.

Phil Mickelson Continues to Not Be Technical At All About Golf

My uncle has a pretty funny story about once seeing Phil Mickelson at a bar in Tempe during his college days passed out in the corner with his friends. This isn't to defame his image, everyone drank and passed out and probably peed in a bed or two during college (blushes).

The reason I'm bringing this up is because Mickelson actually won a PGA Tour event as a college student, the 1991 Northern Telecom Open. I just wonder how crazy he was about numbers those days or if he just went out and tried to hit it as close as possible on every hole.

All of this is raised because of what I just read about everyone's favorite Lefty (Except Canadians).

Phil Mickelson and his short-game guru, Dave Pelz, work with a software program that analyzes tour statistics and applies them to various top venues.

The Left-handed professor offered an example of the wonders revealed by the program — and closed with a pop quiz.

"If you increase any statistical category across the board, it lowers scores," Mickelson explained. "OK, 10 percent fewer putts, 10 percent more greens, 10 percent closer to the hole, 10 percent more fairways — every one lowers scores except longer driving distance."

Warming to the subject, he added, "There's one golf course in America where 10 percent longer driving equates to lower scores. What would you think it would be?"

After a pregnant pause, he smiled and said, "Augusta National."

How hard are the guys that created this software laughing to the bank? This hard?

What person with even a scosh of common sense couldn't figure out that 10 percent fewer putts would lower your score?

"Well Phil, here is your word problem. Chez Reavie plays 36 holes at Troon North. The first 18 he has 30 putts, the second 18 he has 28 putts. Based solely on the information given, which round would produce a lower score?"

Am I missing something?

Jimmy Walker and Scott Sterling Are the Lucky Dogs Paired With Wie

At 1:55 EST today, Michelle Wie will embark on her first PGA Tour event.

Oh, I'm hearing this isn't her first time doing this. Really? Oh, whatever.

Anyway, she's going to be paired with the illustrious Jimmy Walker and Scott Sterling. Never heard of 'em? Not sure they are even people?

Well, let's do a mini crash course on the two.

Jimmy Walker, the strapping 29-year-old Baylor graduate, has won three times on the Nationwide Tour and in his second full season on the PGA Tour, has made nine of 15 cuts. Met his wife at a Nationwide event where she was a volunteer for the tournament, strictly prohibited in the "Nationwide Tour volunteer handbook."

Scott Sterling was the original DJ for the hip hop group Boogie Down Productions. Ehh, wrong guy. Nope, Scott Sterling is a PGA Tour player that finished in a tie for 12th at the John Deere this year, and is an avid fan of Pearl Jam.

Sound like a couple of guys perfect for Wie. Also, something I find funny, neither guys are in the top 50 in driving distance, maybe something the Reno-Tahoe people are doing so they can have a highlight on "Sportscenter" of Wie out-driving two men. "Wow, did you see how far that girl can hit it, she's amaaaazing!"

Some Early Scores From the Women's British, Like You Care

It's a slow golf day, with only two PGA Tour tournaments beginning, so I thought it would be alright to just visit the Women's British for a moment.

Annika Sorenstam, who has no problem calling Michelle Wie out, fired a mediocre even-par 72 to land in a tie for 65th while dominant dog Lorena Ochoa is in the clubhouse at three-under 69.

48-year-old Julie Inkster turned that dang Rolex back a few years, leading in the clubhouse with a seven-under 65 that included five birdies and an eagle on the par-4 9th.

The Women's Open, like the regular Open Championship, is rich in history, dating back to almost 2001. Now that is prestige.

Ok, enough of this, back to regular stuff.

Michelle Wie Responds to LPGA Golfers Comments, Kinda

After Paula Creamer and Annika Sorenstam commented that they weren't so happy with Michelle Wie's decision to skip an LPGA major to play in a PGA Tour event, you'd expect Wie to comment.

You know, something like "those stupid chicks are just jealous of my bank roll." Or, "Yeah, tell Paula if she wants to borrow my Rolex, I'll let her, but just for a day."

But no, Wie stayed fairly civil and handled the remarks, well, remarkably well (see what I did there).

"There are going to be criticisms entering this tournament, but at the same time I'm just doing what I feel like I want to do and it's going to be a lot of fun," Wie said.

"All I'm thinking about is trying to play some good golf. How can I limit the number of bogeys I make? How can I maximize the number of birdies I can make out of this golf course and that's all I can focus on. I can't focus on the rest of the field," she said.

"People are going to write hateful stuff about me and that's fine with me. ... Good rounds and low scores can solve everything," she said.

I'd say that's about right. I think one of the best golf quotes I've heard in a long time is, sadly, from those Phil Mickelson commercials for whatever hotel he promotes. Bones, his caddy, says "whenever you want to break something, how about breaking par."

One of my favorite golf pictures ever taken was courtesy of Warren Little, Getty Images

So, I Guess Tiger Woods Isn't Winning at Firestone?

If Firestone ever goes under, the one bright side will be the opportunity to rename the course to Tiger Woods' Baby.

Woods has absolutely dominated the thing since the WGC-NEC started at Firestone. Since 1999, Tiger has won six of eight trips to the Akron, Ohio course, so it will be interesting picking someone other than El Tigre.

Here are a few to keep you eyes on.

Stewart Cink - Well, one of the years Tiger didn't win the trophy it went to Cink. Mr. Second Place actually broke through for a win at the Travelers Championship a month ago and even after a missed cut at the British, he'll contend if he keeps hitting greens at the rate he is this season (67.98%).

Padraig Harrington - Sure, he's never won at Firestone, but he's on fire coming in and even took a week off to relax after keeping the Claret Jug for another year. He finished t-14, t-27, and t-24 the last three years, so it isn't like he can't play the course. Also, I heard this year the British Open winner gets to start the tournament one-under before he even tees off, so that's a cool little bonus.

Phil Mickelson - He's never really done a ton at Firestone, but he's Phil Mickelson and always seems to win events you're not really expecting him to (on the other hand, he usually loses badly at the ones you're expecting a lot from him). I really only put him in because I just looked, and in 2006 he finished t-51 and made $40,250. Jesus, I know you randomly say things like, "oh yeah, that dude is a millionaire" but I can identify with that much money, so when you put it like, "oh, he finished 51st in a tournament and made 40 grand" it hits more to bank account. All of that is for this simple question -- how much money could you steal from Lefty before he'd even notice it. $5 million? $20 million? Amy?

Sean O'Hair - This kid is due. I'd watch out for him, he has a cool walk.

A Few Links

Hunter Mahan thinks the Ryder Cup is like slavery, which makes that old Chris Rock joke just that much funnier. [Deadspin]

Why Michelle Wie is still getting sponsors exemptions and how they plan to promote her this week at the Reno-Tahoe Open. [FanHouse]

The word "bling" hits golf about five years later. [Blingo Ballmarks]

Why is Chris DiMarco Playing in the Bridgestone?

You remember Chris DiMarco, right? He's the guy with the claw grip, the bad attitude and the near defeat of Tiger Woods in the 2005 Masters.

He was always one of those guys that people had in their "Major championship sleeper" columns up until he forgot how to play. Last year he finished 93rd on the FedEx Cup point list and this year he's 163rd, making just eight of 19 cuts thus far in '08.

So, why the hell is he included in the Bridgestone Invitational?

Apparently, being a part of the 2006 Ryder Cup team (a proud moment in American history) landed them the invite.

Not much better off is Chris DiMarco, who has made only eight cuts in 19 starts on the PGA Tour, has yet to qualify for a major this year and is now No. 207 in the world. Then there's Vaughn Taylor, who also has fallen on hard times after coping with allergies and vertigo last year that caused him to sink to No. 178.

All of them have the Ryder Cup to thank for their tee time this week. Six players from the 2006 team that got clobbered at The K Club in Ireland are no longer in the top 50 in the world, but they are eligible for this World Golf Championship.

That isn't fair, if DiMarco is in, Michelle Wie should be in. She was also great about the last time DiMarco was relevant. I'm starting a petition.

(Also, the bow tie, seriously? It looks like he stole that from an extra in Dick Tracey.)

Last Chance To Catch Annika Sorenstam At A Major

It appears when you've accomplished all that you can in your career, hanging up the spikes isn't a bad idea.

Annika Sorenstam, in her 15th season on tour, has decided that this week's Womens British Open will be her last hooray, and after the 37-year-old will ride off into the sunset as the best and most successful golfer ever of her gender.

She's won 10 majors, including the British in 2003, and said the main reason for the departure is to spend more time with her family. (Side note: what a loser...people play golf to get AWAY from their families...hasn't anyone told her this yet?)

“I want to start the next chapter in my life and we’ll see what happens,” she said. “If I get the urge, then I know I can come back.

I'm sure we'll see Annika again, but for now, this will be our last chance to catch her in a major championship. As much as I seem to dog women's sports, Sorenstam is one of my favorite people to watch play. Her swing is so repetitive it's disgusting and she is still confident with the putter at age 37.

Not to scare anyone, but Tiger is 32, and if he gets hot hotter over the next couple of years, he might be in a situation when he reaches 40 that this idea comes to his mind. Wait until he breaks Jack's record, and we could be seeing a whole different tour.

Paging Anthony Kim.

Hey Look, Phil Mickelson In Shorts

About the time the PGA Championship rolls around, people are slightly burned out with golf. They've had the ups of the Masters, the grind of the U.S. Open and the lust of the British to deal with and now this, a major championship that has damn club professionals in the field.

The best part is, usually we get a picture of Tiger Woods and/or Phil Mickelson in shorts, which always looks a little strange since we never see it.

Lefty was doing his usually dissection of the course, this year at Oakland Hills, which has been substantially lengthened since the 2004 Ryder Cup by 400 yards.

Anyway, this is just so I can show a picture of Mickelson's sexy legs. Ladies, if you want to reach him, you better get in line.

Photo courtesy of Carlos Osorio/AP

Jim Furyk Hates Your Newspapers

Jim Furyk made some fairly entertaining comments about his take on the media. If you have a minute, check out my article on FanHouse about it. Maybe you'll laugh, maybe you'll cry.

Would You Give Michelle Wie An Invite?

It's fairly insane that one of the bigger golf tournaments on the PGA Tour is having this week and Michelle Wie playing in the other PGA event is the big news.

With the Bridgestone Invitational going on at Firestone Country Club, all the big names trying to win should be the story. Unfortunately it isn't even close, as Wie continues to steal headlines as she tries to be the modern day Billie Jean King.

My question, would you give Wie an invitation if you were this tournament?

I'd have to say yes, it's the smart business decision. You're battling against a tournament with the likes of Phil Mickelson, Anthony Kim and Sergio Garcia. Before Wie, the biggest name in the field was Ryan Moore. If you can invite someone to get you this exposure, you'd have to do it.

My follow-up question is simple. When will this stop? When does the luster of Wie rub off? When do people stop caring about her doing this? Will she always be this anomaly or are people going to get tired of her as she continues to fall short?

Honestly, as much trash as I push her way, I sure hope she can find a way to succeed this week so the dance is finally finished. I believe if she could make a cut, prove to her critics that she can do it, she can close that book and move on to the LPGA full-time. That or she'll start talking about winning a PGA Tour event. I guess that's why companies make hard liquor.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Franklin, Getty

Michelle Wie Gets Yelled At By Other Girls

I'm sure it gets fairly annoying to have a girl that never does that well on your tour teeing it up with the boys, and most people can only keep their mouths shut for so long.

Annika Sorenstam and Paula Creamer both commented on Michelle Wie's decision to play in the Reno-Tahoe Open instead of the Women's British Open, and my story is over at the FanHouse.

Chris Berman Gets A Golf Test, Seems Annoying

Even though I'm not really in the "hate everybody that works for ESPN" camp, I do despise Chris Berman like I would a girl with a Venus Flytrap as a vagina.

My main reason is for his invasion into my peaceful world of golf, throwing around nicknames with the voice that sounds like someone trying to stick a fork down a garbage disposal. So, when I came across this amazing question and answer piece by Golf Digest, I was pretty annoyed. Please keep Berman out of anything I actually enjoy reading please. Thank you kindly.

Anyway, here are some of the eye-gougingly annoying best (sic) parts from the Q and A, with my commentary after each answer.

GD / Who’s The King? (A: Arnold Palmer.)

CB / Arnie, of course. I wasn’t around when he was The King, and The Golden Bear was long before me. But 15 years ago, we had Curtis “People Are” Strange, Bob “Curds and” Tway and Mark “Unplayable” Lye. The best golf nickname, which I couldn’t use when I heard his name pronounced correctly, was Jose Maria “Two Strokes” for Oh-lozz-a-ball.

DTCC / Really? That is your question, who is the King? If you work in sports and you don't know that the seven time major championship winner and 62 time winner on tour was named The King, you obviously blew a lot of bosses on your way up. People I think would not know he was named The King in major media -- Stuart Scott (he'd call him Da King), Joe Morgan and probably Skip Bayless (he'd know, he'd just refuse to refer to him as "King").

GD / What did Tiger and Elin Woods name their baby? (A: Sam Alexis Woods.)

CB / I missed it, but I’m thrilled for them. [Told Sam Alexis.] Sam Alexis, huh? S.A.W.? So, we have to nickname the baby already: “Buzz Saw.”

DTCC / This is pretty sad, but I guess I'll let it slide because he does so many sports. "Buzz Saw" could be the worst possibly nickname for an individual and pretty much cements the fact that Berman has never read Deadspin. God, I'd had to be this guys kid.

GD / Who’s the heaviest player to win a tour event in 2007? (A: Mark Calcavecchia, 225 pounds.)

CB / Are you talking Calc? Golfers come in all shapes and sizes. Everybody who sees me on TV thinks I’m a short fat guy, but I’m 6-4½. I’m a tall fat guy.

DTCC / A tall fat guy that is an asshole and yells at people for no real reason. I can honestly say I never thought Berman was this tall. Could you imagine sitting next to this guy on an airplane? With his enormously loud voice, his inability to call people regular names and his linebacker size would be nearly unbearable. I think I'd rather walk in golf spikes to my destination.

In News That Surprises Nobody, LPGA Might Lose Sponsors

As much as we all push for equal rights amongst all demographics, everyone has that logical portion of the brain that knows things like the LPGA and WNBA just don't make that much money (you could make the same argument about the CFL or minor league baseball).

Golfweek reported today that the LPGA might lose sponsors next season even as it seems the tour has boomed of late with all the young stars making waves.


The future of the Ginn Tribute, the SemGroup Championship and Fields Open appear in doubt. Such uncertainty follows on the heels of Safeway’s announcement earlier this year that it would drop its sponsorship of the Phoenix tour stop.

The most significant setback would be the loss of the Ginn event in Charleston, one of the most lucrative purses on tour; Ginn sponsors two LPGA events and each offers a $2.6 million purse. When the event was announced in 2006, LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens touted it as an example of the LPGA’s bigger, better approach to business.

As I can report way too personally, SemGroup isn't going to be sponsoring anything in the near future.

I always root hard for the LPGA, and not just because I think Paula Creamer and Natalie Gulbis are hot. I think the tour offers a very rare situation (matched only with tennis) for both men and women to view sports that they can't do and that they are impressed with. Unlike the WNBA, it's golfers playing a course condition that you the average golfer would struggle with. You leave impressed, not questionable.

I'm sure more sponsors will step up, but a problem that has always plagued the LGPA seems to be resurfacing. Hey, at least the economy is doing really well!

I Hope This Gets You Pumped

These are some of Tiger's best shots of his career, up to the amazing chip-in on 16 at Augusta. The music mixed with some of his absolutely crazy swings makes for a great Tuesday morning.

My Take on All That is Greg Norman

I feel that most of the time Negative Nancy appears in my writing. I really never try to be a negative guy, but a lot of the things that appear in sports are mostly bad.

That is why I feel that Greg Norman, the last two weeks and now with his decision to pass on the PGA Championship, has been absolutely amazing for the sport. Just a month and a half ago we were scared that golf would absolutely disappear without Tiger Woods around, and even though ratings have obviously dropped, the story lines are still there if people take notice and care about them.

Golf continues to strive because the sport is great for everyone. Norman reminded us of that and for that he gets full respect from this blogger.

Some Links, Jinx

Jason Sobel outlines the best player to have never won a major, with the one and only El Nino at the top of his list. [ESPN]

More on Andrew Giuliani and his ongoing saga with Duke University. [FanHouse]

A hopeful assistant golf coach battles with cancer at Arizona State. [Golfweek]

Oh, and Gary Player had some things to say about Mickelson's boobs. [The Big Lead]

Hunter Mahan Talks About Tiger's Influence, the no-fun Ryder Cup and Girlfriends

Because I'm a blogger with no connections and no real influence in the golf world, most of my internal knowledge is from a second-party. This week, on Golf.com, they have an interview with Hunter Mahan. A couple of the better stuff below.

Q: Most of you guys still aren't household names. If Tiger pulled an Annika and decided to retire, the Tour would be in deep trouble, no?
A: Monumental trouble. The Tour would never admit it but they need Tiger way more than Tiger needs the Tour. It's tough — people don't know the younger players. If you ask most fans following a tournament to write down who they know, they'll write Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods.

So shouldn't the Tour do more to promote up-and-comers like you?
Personally I think they do a lot more for the international players. They try to get Camilo [Villegas] out there as much as any player I've ever seen, basically because while he's good-looking and young, he's also Colombian. He's Latin. They don't do the Americans many favors.

The Presidents Cup sounds like fun. Has the Ryder Cup become a chore?
Phil Mickelson and Tiger — their time is worth money. And for the PGA of America, the Ryder Cup is a moneymaker like no other. They don't have to pay anything. I think when [Mark] O'Meara said players should get paid for it or some of the money given to their charities, I think [he said that] because the PGA takes so much out of the event that the players don't really get anything. Is it an honor to play? Yes, it is. But their time is valuable. This is a business.

With the constant traveling, how does a guy like you find a girlfriend?
Truly it's difficult. It's not a big concern, though. It's the last thing I want to worry about. It's just going to happen. I'm very happy being single and doing whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it, and not have to ask permission to do anything. Golf is still No. 1 to me.

This is the main reason a big magazine would never hire me. I'd follow that last question up with, "But you're getting tons of ass, right?"

Phil Mickelson Reveals How He Got Un-Fat

When did Phil Mickelson become this hip?

First he's shooting an episode of "Entourage" (ok, hip in '03) and now he's revealing his workout secrets in Men's Vogue?

I promise, the article gets better than the first line, which was obviously written by someone that has zero clue about anything golf, so she made the always hilarious "funny pants" joke to start.

In most professional sports, a paunch squeezed into tacky pants does not an athlete make. But such is the charm of golf.

Anyway, the article says that Mickelson is eating small portions five times a day, doing some hilarious looking lunges and carries his bag to shed weight! Wow!

This is why I never understand these fitness articles. How much fun is it to read about what someone does to lose weight? It's like reading an article about someone sleeping.

Did You Know John Daly Sells Wine?

It's a slow Monday in the wonderful world of golf, and I was tooling around on the web, I came across this tidbit -- John Daly sells wine.

There really are too many cheap jokes to be made on this, but honestly, when is the last time Daly sat down for a nice bottle of Shiraz?

Maybe my favorite part of the Daly wine is it's affordable -- $11 a bottle. Payment for damaged hotel room after consuming 10 bottles -- priceless.

If John Daly can sell wine, I honestly think I can be a movie star. Producers and directors, my email is in the top right of this page. I do an amazing Stuart Little.

Greg Norman Cleaned Up Early Round Throw-Up from Self, Finished Top Five at Senior British

Greg Norman might have started out like the pre-Royal Birkdale Norman we were used to, but he sure finished like he was a 53-year-old just hitting his prime.

At the Senior British Open, Norman carded a first round 75 and followed that up with a sloppy 72, but weekend rounds of 67-68 at Royal Troon had the Shark finish in a tie for fifth place, his second straight top-five. Norman will have to keep his hot streak up at the Women's British Open next week to have a chance at completing the trifecta.

Norman spoke after the round about how much fun it was competing for two weeks straight in the major championships.

"I enjoyed (the two weeks) on a scale of 1 to 10, a 10," Norman said.

"I enjoyed every step, loved it. From a scoring perspective, I haven't enjoyed that. I've played a lot better than what my scores indicated and just didn't work out."

As I've noted, Norman did not choke at the Open, he just finally ran into a guy (Padraig Harrington) that wasn't going to get beat. This week, he struggled early after probably more golf pressure and media attention than he's had in ten years, only to find his game again and close strong.

I might not speak for everyone when I say it would be smart for Norman to skip the PGA Championship invitation and just ride out in the sunset at a pretty unexpected high point in his career, but if he does play, I hope his game holds up for two more weeks.

Parties are always more fun with that random old guy walking around, hitting on girls that are partly amused, party creeped out.

Chez Reavie Wins the Canadian Open in First Year on Tour

Sure, it isn't the U.S. Open or British Open, but the Canadian Open is a PGA Tour event and it is the biggest tournament our northern brothers host.

Chez Reavie, in his first full season on the PGA Tour, won in convincing fashion, hitting golf shots coming down the stretch in such calm fashion you would think it was a Tuesday practice round.

A solid birdie putt on the 18th hole had the Dobson Ranch creation take the title by three shots after a final round 70 that had four birdies, three bogeys and never a doubt as everyone giving chase seemed to fade away.

Anytime you can actually watch someone's life change in front of your eyes, it's special and after his third shot found the green on the 18th, the close-up of Reavie showed a man realizing that his bank account will never be a problem and he'll have a job for at least the next two years.

For mini tour golfers everywhere, Reavie is the reason you're tossing the clubs in the trunk and heading to the range for an afternoon session.

Photo courtesy of Robert Laberge, Getty Images

What is Kim Thinking?

If you're not watching the Canadian Open right now, you're missing out, because leader Chez Reavie is hitting fairways, greens, and making pars to secure his lead and Anthony Kim is BOMBING drives down the middle of the fairway and hitting his short irons like Alan Shepard.

For some reason, and it might be nerves or something, but Kim can't hit anything close to the hole. For some reason, he decided to hit 6-iron from 160 yards on 17, yanking in badly and putting himself in position for a tough par. It's pretty crazy that he, one of the longest hitters in the field, would hit such a big club from such a short distance after playing risky and hitting driver off the tee.

I don't know, maybe he got it confused with a 9-iron? That's my only explanation.

This Anthony Kim Kid Is Up To It Again

In both victories Anthony Kim has smoked home this year, he's had that one round that most need to get over the hump.

At the Wachovia Championship in May, Kim shot a third round 66. A month later, he won the AT&T National with a final round 65. Today, chasing a ton of guys in front of him at the Canadian Open, the Mercury-melting Kim fired a seven-under 64 to jump to a tie for the lead and possibly a chance at the Player of the Year award.

The 23-year-old Kim has had some pretty interesting rounds this week, opening with a pretty factory 65 and following that up with a two-under 69 that included two eagles, one double-bogey, three bogeys and three birdies.

He's becoming the favorite every week when he tees it up, not missing a cut since early April and finishing in the top-10 in his first ever British Open. If he wins this, that will be three for the year and his cockiness will be refreshing for the American Ryder Cup team.

Could you imagine if Tiger Woods was healthy and they paired him with Kim against the European Team? It would be like the year Tiger played with Phil Mickelson, only a lot cooler and probably successful. Hey, there'd be a lot less awkward white-ness in the group, that's for sure.

That Skinny Kid From the British Open Is Turning Pro

During all the hullabaloo that was Greg Norman at the British Open, an amateur named Chris Wood was doing his best Justin Rose impersonation, finishing in a tie for fifth place at the Open.

Just 20-years-old, Wood, like that guy with a similar last name, decided to forgo his amateur status and turn professional even though he said he wasn't going to do that.

British Open silver medal winner Chris Wood has decided to turn professional, less than a week after saying he had no plans to leave the amateur game.

The 20-year-old Englishman finished tied for fifth in the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale, and then announced he was taking a week off to rest up for the English Amateur Championship at Woodhall Spa.

However, after several meetings with management companies in the aftermath of his Birkdale success, Wood has withdrawn from his national championship to prepare for life as a tour pro.

Checking out more info on Wood, it appears the guy is a great player. According to his Wikipedia page, he was a single digit handicapper at the age of 12.

Believe what you want, but my Wikipedia page says I'm 6'5", won the Masters at the age of 15 and am currently dating both Jessica Alba and Megan Fox. I love that about Wikipedia, you can really say anything you want.

The Dobson Ranch Crew Is Probably Glued to Their Televisions

As the Canadian Open rolls on, one young golfer is dominating Glen Abbey Golf Club.

Chez Reavie, Arizona State alumni and Mesa, AZ badass, is leading for the first time on the PGA Tour after rounds of 65-64.

Reavie is best known for winning the 2001 U.S. Amateur Public Links, landing an exemption into the Masters, and graduated to the big boys tour after an 18th place finish on the Nationwide Tour money list last season.

He's trying to claim this first victory with the likes of Sean O'Hair, Mike Weir and Anthony Kim chasing him, arguably the hottest golfer on tour.

If you've never played Dobson Ranch, the place Reavie grew up on, you're missing out. It's a great municipal track and the bar is always packed of those characters Rick Reilly writes about in his golf novel. Good stuff.

Why Russians Don't Play Golf

I've never been to Russia. Not a huge fan of long flights, weird letters like Ж or red things. The small amount of things I do know about Russia is it isn't producing the new Tiger Woods anytime soon.

At the European Tour's Russian Open, exactly zero Russians made the cut and of the nine Vodka lovers in the field, four finished dead last.

The caboose of them all? Alexey Kovalev fired a first round 99 (Barkley, watch out!) and followed that up with a cool 85 to finish at a perfect 40-over par.

I know nothing about Kovalev, so for all we know, he's a 13-year-old amateur that was happy to just be in the field. The point is, as always, don't go betting big money on a Russian to make a five-footer on the last to win the Nassau. That was actually the 11th Commandment.

Greg Norman Continues to Struggle on His Comeback Tour

Through 13 holes today at the Senior British Open, it looks like the Greg Norman comeback tour has as much chance of making it as a Mitch Hedberg resurgence.

The Shark, after a masterful performance at the Open, has struggled at Royal Troon, sitting at eight-over for the tournament and sitting 11 shots back of current leader John Cook.

Maybe this is the best thing to happen to Norman. No need for an encore performance, decline the PGA Championship invitation and go have some fun with the new wife.

No reason to get yourself all worked up for nothing, especially when you've got as much money as Greg.

We've enjoyed it Mr. Norman, thanks for coming back on stage for at least one song.

John Daly Broke Par Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In news that is news because it's news, John Daly broke par today at the Russian Open, a tournament that for some reason makes me think of "The Saint" more than it does golf.

Daly is five shots back of Swede Joakim Backstrom, who actually recorded the rare albatross (or double-eagle) on the 561-yard par-5 15th.

"It was a four iron from 233 yards," Backstrom said after two bogeys and four more birdies completed a round of 65, seven under par.

Big John finished in a tie for last place at the Open Championship, so anything around par these days is pretty good.

The always entertaining Ryan Wilson has a report on Daly's "injured" hand and how he's risking it all to win the what tour is this even on? prestigious Russian Open.

I had a buddy of mine get tipped in Russian rubles once while caddying over at St. Andrews, and let me tell you, they sound a lot more expensive than they really are.

I'm Going out on a Limb Here and Saying He's Probably the Hometown Favorite

We as Americans just can't really grasp how important it is for our countrymen to win things. The reason being we have so many good athletes and sports teams that other than soccer, we're the sports mecca. People want to play on the PGA Tour, in the MLB or the NFL and definitely the NBA. We get the best because we host the best, and mostly because we produce the best. It taints our view on nationalism in sports.

That is why it's refreshing and exciting to see guys like Mike Weir, a full-blood Canadian, tied for the lead at the Canadian Open, an event he has never won (However, his first PGA Tour victory was the Air Canadian Championship, in 1999).

Weir is golf to Canada. He has made the game popular and with his Masters victory in 2003, put our northern neighbors on the map.

I hate to keep saying this, but it seems every week a new story unfolds to make us forget how much golf sucks without Tiger around. If Lefty could duel someone like Sergio or Vijay at the PGA Championship and the Ryder Cup could be somewhat competitive, I'd consider the second half of 2008 as good, if not better, than the last few years on tour.

Anthony Kim Is Becoming Really Good

It was just over a month ago that I wrote, after it was announced Tiger Woods would be vacationing early, that the young guns needed to step up to keep the PGA Tour afloat until our man returns.

It appears Anthony Kim is a huge fan of my work.

At just 23-years-old, Kim has won twice on tour and after contending for a time at his first British Open, our American hero is tied for the lead at the Canadian Open through 16 holes.

With his name at the tops of leaderboards week in and week out, he's reminding us of that guy we miss. He's brash, he's cocky, but goddammit, he can play.

Our Ryder Cup team might just have the two hottest players in the world on it, and neither will be named Phil.

Rudy Giuliani's Son Sues Duke For Kicking Him Off The Team

Check Out My Story At FanHouse.

If I could, I probably would have used the word "douche" in it at some point, but they slap wrists for that stuff.

A Few Morning Links

Greg Norman isn't exactly as sharp as a week ago, shoots four-over 75 in the first round at the Senior British to land in a tie for 71st. Fanhouse

An exceptional piece about the Michelle Wie fiasco by Rex Hoggard. Golfweek

What's better, winning 123 bottles of wine for making a hole-in-one on the Postage Stamp (measuring 123 yards) or trying to find a way to get all those back to the States? Golf.com

If You Can Wrap Your Head Around It, Golf Ratings are down Without Tiger

In news that wouldn't even make a coked out chimpanzee raise an eyebrow, golf ratings are down without Tiger Woods in the field.

I know, it's like hearing your parents really adopted you.

Because I'm not very good with the whole "numbers" thing, I'll just let the story explain.


Case 1: Buick Open. The first event of three events so far that Woods would have played but missed because of his knee surgery. The overnight rating on CBS for the fourth round was down 12%, from a 1.7 to a 1.5.

Case 2: AT&T National. Worse. The overnight ratings for the fourth round on CBS were down 48%, from a 2.9 to a 1.5. Third-round ratings dipped 35%, from a 2.0 to a 1.3.

Case 3: British Open. Not good. The overnight ratings for ABC's final round coverage Sunday fell 14.6%, from a 4.1 to a 3.5.

Ok, so all of these are down a percentage because Tiger didn't play? Got it. Next story please...

Colt Knost Laughs At All Of You

If you're not familiar with the above name, remember it, because he's going to be on the PGA Tour next year as a 23-year-old hungry to dominate.

Knost was the kid that told the Augusta suits "Thanks but no thanks" this year with his Masters exemption because he wanted to turn pro. Knost had the exemption for winning the U.S. Pub-Links and U.S. Amateur in the same, and people thought he was crazier than an ex-girlfriend after four drinks.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, Colt won his second Nationwide Tour tournament this past weekend to secure his PGA Tour card for next season and had this to say about it all.

"It seems like I've always been doubted,'' he said. "I'm not the most athletic-looking person. But people should never judge a book by its cover. I know how good I can be.''

Well, I'd agree with all statements. He doesn't fit the mold of today's athletic looking golfer, but man can the dude play. He shot 26-under-par last week, which I guess is fairly decent.

Anyway, all the critics that thought he was a moron don't look so stellar now. The kid will be playing the big boys tour next season and it he keeps this up, we might just see him turning around Amen Corner before you know it.

Davis Love III Whins About Your Whining

You have to respect guys that do what Davis Love III did.

19 PGA Tour wins including a major championship, Love went through qualifying to get into the field for the British Open, an admirable thing to do.

So, according to our boy, if you're planning on complaining about playing in the oldest major championship and most recognized golf tournament in the world, umm, don't.

What bothers Love more are the players that do fly across the Atlantic and start complaining. He didn't mention names, but Pat Perez would have been a candidate for saying the rain and wind in the first round didn't feel like golf.

"Just don't come," Love said. "If you're going to have a bad attitude on Thursday before you tee off because it's raining, then don't come, because you're just wasting your time. It's going to be bad, eventually, one way or another."

I couldn't agree more with Mr. Love. A buddy of mine told me the other day that the "Open isn't even golf" because of the weather and such, but I think that's what makes it so amazing. Not only are you dealing with your nerves, the pressure of a major championship and the toughest field in golf, but at the drop of a hat the weather could turn and the course is totally different.

Also, there is black pudding, and who doesn't love them some black pudding?

Quote of the Day

"Everybody knows Phil as a golfer," Amy Mickelson said. "But I think there's an astronaut trapped inside his body."

Well, GET HIM OUTTA THERE!!!

(Seriously, it's worth reading the story if you dislike Mickelson because he's actually doing some good stuff in front of Congress and there is a picture of Amy.)

The 50 Hottest LPGA Golfers and No Mention Of Annika?

It's Wednesday, and all we have is baseball, WNBA fights and a whole bunch of Olympic coverage that you don't care about.

I think it's a perfect time to throw up the Sports Crunch's take on the 50 hottest LPGA golfers of all time.

I seriously can't figure out if I'm attracted to Paula Creamer or not, but I guess if all you have is Captain Crunch in the pantry, it's what you eat for breakfast.

Some Beautiful LPGA Girl Answered Questions

You know the difference in women that aren't great professional athletes and guys that aren't professional athletes? If you're a bad chick at the sport, you can still be famous if you're hot.

Anna Rawson is falling gently in that mold, making just two of nine cuts on the LPGA this season. It doesn't matter though because she's smoking and can just model if she sucks. Oh wait, she already models? Awesome.,

In an interview today with oobgolf, Rawson was asked a question concerning both.


oob: For what it would mean to your career and everything else would you rather be on the SI swimsuit cover or win an LPGA event?
Rawson: Win an LPGA event for sure. The swimsuit cover would be nice too. To even be in the SI swimsuit edition would be fun because it's the only really legitimate swimsuit modeling you can do without being criticized.

Winning the Masters of being an extra in a porn? Shit, you can have that green jacket.

With Leather

Needs to Improve -- Long Game over Short

If you're out grinding on the putting green for hours while those range balls sit lonely on that green mat, you might be doing something wrong.

According to a study by Columbia University professor Mark Broadie, the biggest difference in a low-handicapper and high-handicapper is all the shots leading to 100-yards and in.

It is the long game that proves to be the biggest factor when examining the difference in scores between pros and amateurs and even between low- and high-handicap amateurs. If, for example, a PGA Tour player were available to hit shots for an amateur from 100 yards and in, or available to hit all the shots leading to the 100-yard mark, Broadie says the amateur would benefit the most from having the PGA player hit the long shots, not the short ones.

It is often said that 60 to 65 percent of all shots are struck within 100 yards of the hole. Broadie agreed but noted that if you take out “gimme” putts of two and a half feet, the statistic has less meaning. Remove very short putts that are rarely missed, and shots from 100 yards or less account for only 45 to 50 percent of all shots. Eliminate putts from three and a half feet or less, and the figure drops to 41 to 47 percent.

I actually agree with this completely. I've always thought the golf cliche "drive for show and putt or dough" is the dumbest thing a golfer can think. Sure, you can still make a high number after a big drive but you have zero chance of saving a high score if you snap a ball out of bounds off the tee. Putting the ball in play from long distances is one of the things golfers struggle with the most, so for something like this, I couldn't agree more.

Anyway, check out that New York Times article, because it's extremely thorough and doesn't use "shit" and "damn" and stuff so you know it's solid stuff.

Wie Talks About Playing on the PGA Tour

As you well know, Michelle Wie is going to play in her eighth PGA Tour event next week at the Reno-Tahoe Open. Wie has played in seven LPGA events this year, making the cut in just four of them, and if that doesn't scream "time to play against men" I don't know what does.

What did Wie have to say about her "opportunity?"

“It's not every day that a woman is given the opportunity to play on the greatest tour in the world,” Wie said in a statement. “This is a tremendous opportunity for me to learn from these great players and take those lessons to the LPGA. This is another step in the process of making me a better player.”

Lessons like, for instance, remember to sign your scorecard? That is actually something you can pull from the PGA Tour guys because they usually do that. Other things they do -- rake the bunker after being in it, mark their ball when it's on the green and pee on trees.

Also, "it's not every day..." is pretty much a false statement since she's played in eight and can play in many more whenever she wants. What 'isn't every day" is actually playing well and giving yourself a chance.

Honestly, can someone give Lorena Ochoa a sponsors exemption and get it over with? She's actually good at this whole golf thing.

The Skins Game Field Will Be Better Than Last Year

You remember the Skins Game, right? It's that goofy 18-hole event around Thanksgiving that gives golfers a chance to win holes for lots of dough.

The fields used to be amazing. Names like Jack Nicklaus, Lee Trevino, Greg Norman and Fred Couples have snagged the most skins over the 25 years of the event and it was always a fun thing to watch.

Well, until last year, when the field consisted of Stephen Ames, Fred Couples, Zach Johnson and Brett Wetterich. I know, even reading those names gets the heart a-pumping.

I guess the LG Skins Game people decided that having a foreign guy most people don't know of, a washed up former champion, the Masters champion that's most exciting feature is his occasional pink shirt and Brett Wetterich wasn't exactly stealing ratings from football.

They've decided on four people that aren't exactly Snoozaplosa. Rocco Mediate, Phil Mickelson, defending champion Ames (ok, not perfect) and possibly Anthony Kim will be around for this year's event.

Hey, anything is better than watching Fred Funk smash the ball out there 260.

Oh Yeah, How Did Kenny Perry Do?

In all the hullabaloo this week with Greg Norman and Michelle Wie and Padraig Harrington, the fact that Kenny Perry played in the JV PGA Tour tournament was almost dismissed.

So, how did our Player of the Year candidate do at the Greater Milwaukee Open?

Pretty well actually.

Perry fired a final round 64 to jump in a tie for 6th and earn $125,000. If Perry had crossed the ocean for the Open, he would have had to finish in a tie for 7th place with nine other players to earn more than that.

I guess you could say it was a success for Perry. He earned another top-10, kept his momentum going and earned a few more Ryder Cup points. I'm sure a t-6 at the GMO isn't worth a private jet to Vegas, but it was something. All in all, pretty solid decision from Kenny.

Winners and Losers From Open Week

You knew it was coming, the winners and losers edition of the Open. Check it out, comment on it, call me ugly, it's all fun and birdies over here.

Michelle Wie Will Play (Again) on the PGA Tour

I like women a lot*. I think they're great for our world and do amazing things*. Hillary Clinton*! Martha Burke*! My mom.

What I am not a fan of is playing sports against girls. No, it isn't because I'm scared they will beat me, I pride myself in being decently athletic (for a blogger) and feel I can play stupid bar games like pool and darts as good as the next woman.

The reason is because they might not win 49 out of 50 times, but the time they do, they talk about it like they cured cancer or figured out how Nickelback is famous.

I'm all for Michelle Wie trying to qualify for these PGA Tour events if she has a chance. Annika Sorenstam at Colonial? I was thrilled. Michelle Wie when she used to be good, at the Sony? All for it, I'll even watch. Suzy Whaley when she qualified for the Great Hartford Open? She earned it.

I just think when your time has passed, you get out of line. Wie has never qualified for a PGA Tour event and with her recent play on the LPGA Tour, she probably needs to focus on succeeding there. If she keeps doing this, she is going to eventually make a cut with the men because she's pretty good and will catch fire one weekend. It will be a monumental moment and will overshadow all the failure she's endured with the dudes.

Personally, I would rather see the first lady to qualify for a men's event be someone that doesn't try three times a year. I think that would make it more special. I think that would be worth talking about.

* = possible sarcasm

Lets Get This Straight, Greg Norman Did Not Choke

As I was getting all my stuff together for the Colorado Open qualifier I'm playing in tomorrow, the ABC affiliate in Denver had their sports guy on, talking about the British Open.

The man was your typical local sportscaster -- smug, spiked hair even though he's in his mid to late 30s and a negative outlook on sports because he secretly hates them now since they've taken over his life.

He introduced his British Open "coverage" with a rant (and an accompanying graphic) about Greg Norman "choking" away the tournament in typical Norman fashion.

I stopped ironing my shirt and just stared at the screen. Is this guy really so clueless about golf he compares Norman at the 2008 Open Championship to the Shark at Augusta in 1996?

The man is 53-years-old and admitted he's been playing more tennis than golf of late. He played in the British Open because he's allowed to and because he's won the thing twice, a respect that is shown by true champions. For some unknown reason, Norman found his game at Royal Birkdale, shooting twin 70s on Thursday and Friday and following that up with a two-over 72 on Saturday in weather that would have sunk the Santa Maria.

His play was exactly the reason golf is the best sport in the world. Dads that remember Norman being the dominant force he once was had the rare opportunity to have their kids in front of a television as the Shark produced that swing that has always been a pleasure to watch. I'm 24, and my first golf memory of watching the sport with my dad was the Masters in 1996. I remember seeing the disappointment and only a 6th grader at the time, I had my first true encounter with how cruel golf can be. We had a living legend, Tiger before Tiger was Tiger, playing golf that was more 1988 than 2008, and just because he didn't win doesn't give anyone the right to call him a choke artist.

It was the type of story that made golf enthusiasts, for a split second, forget about all this Tiger Woods business. We all got to sit back and watch in hopes of a miracle, even if we weren't totally convinced it was going to happen.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, was going to take that Claret Jug away from Padraig Harrington. Let's all just be happy we got to see Norman do his thing one more time.

Photo courtesy of ADRIAN DENNIS, AFP

Padraig Harrington, Your 2008 British Open Champion

For the second consecutive year, Padraig Harrington will be taking the Claret Jug home to Ireland with him.

In winds that never seemed to stop blowing all week, Harrington navigated around the links better than anyone, punctuated with a "Did you See That?" shot on the 17th hole to set up an eagle and push himself into an entire different category of major championship winners.

Congrats Padraig, I hope you come out next year at Turnberry and do it all over again.

Photo courtesy of Glyn Kirk, AFP

Padraig Harrington Hits Shot of His Life

If you didn't just see that, I'm sorry for your loss.

Padraig Harrington just hit a second shot on the par-5 17th to four feet for eagle, pretty much wrapping up his second consecutive Claret Jug at Royal Birkdale.

That shot will be on highlights for years to come. Absolutely astonishing golf shot at the absolute perfect time.

Sorry Ian Poulter, maybe next year.

Photo courtesy of Adrian Dennis, AFP

Ian Poulter With Putt of the Year After Three-Putt of the Year

If you didn't catch Ian Poulter's par saving putt on 18, you missed out on a great example of why golf is one of the best sports alive.

Needing a 12-footer to save his par and post seven-over, Poulter rose to the occasion and smashed it in the back of the cup, fist-pumping with a Tiger-like enthusiasm.

A three-putt par on the 17th looked to be the end of him but he saved his par on the 18th hole and is now in the clubhouse rooting for Padraig Harrington to make some bogeys.

He's going to need some help, as Harrington leads by two and has a birdie putt on the 16th hole and the par-5 17th coming up.

Photo courtesy of Richard Heathcote, Getty Images

Ian Poulter Might Just Win This Crazy Thing

I sure have dropped a ton of dirt on Ian Poulter after his comments about "him and Tiger Woods" if he improves his game, but this sure could go a long way to improving my attitude about the guy.

A Grand Canyon-size putt on 16 for birdie has Poulter in the lead at the British Open and a piped drive on the par-5 17th hole has him eying another birdie to move two shots up on the field.

If you're bored at home, check out the live blog over at FanHouse. It's fun.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Franklin, Getty Images

Does Pink Do It?

Same name, will the same color bring Poulter his first Claret Jug?

Bogeys Aren't A Terrible score at the Open

At this point, with the leaders making the turn, pars are excellent and bogeys aren't that bad.

Greg Norman went out in four-over while Padraig Harrington did the same in three-over, which really isn't a bad front nine considering the elements.

If you're doing nothing but watching golf, swing over to the live blog at the FanHouse and enjoy the commentary.

It's British Open Sunday baby!

Photo courtesy of ADRIAN DENNIS, AFP

Greg Norman, Just Go Do This

I'm sorry, it's 2:06 AM in Denver, Colorado and all I can think about is this British Open.

Can Greg Norman do this? Honestly, nobody knows, but I promise you that one guy will be rooting as hard as ever.

Greg, you're doing such a good job right now, keep it up and we're all gonna be cheering hard. You're that guy that everyone seems to enjoy, keep it up. Just one more day.....

Photo courtesy of ADRIAN DENNIS, AFP

In Case You Didn't Hear About Michelle Wie...

It isn't worth talking about, because it's so ridiculous, but just read about it. What do you think?

Greg Norman, Your 54-Hole Leader

I wouldn't have guessed in a million years that when I started blogging about golf, I'd have the opportunity to write about "the Tiger Woods before Tiger was Tiger."

Greg Norman, a young 53-years-old, is leading the British Open in a storyline that could have only been jotted down by a kooky screenplay writer.

His play has been impressive, only if the word impressive could be magnified 50 times over.

If he continues this and wins, it will be the best story that golf has seen since Jack Nicklaus at the 1986 Masters.

If you're a father with a child that enjoys slapping the golf ball around the living room, wake the kiddo up tomorrow and watch this tournament with him. It is a rare chance for people to see a legend on the links revived and ready to win.

Greg Norman, keep it rolling man. You're making it exciting for all of us again.

The Shark, it appears, is around for one more good hunt.

Photo courtesy of ADRIAN DENNIS, AFP

Can Greg Norman Really Win This Thing?

Old people aren't supposed to be good at sports.

They hurt in places they didn't used to, they have bad memories from past experiences and they're....old.

Greg Norman, 53, fits all of those characteristics. He's struggled to finish major championships in the past, being coined a "choker" by most during the peak of his game.

All of that will be erased if he can continue doing what nobody would have ever expected. Norman just erupted through a drive on the par-5 17th hole and is in perfect position to card another birdie and move one shot closer to his third Claret Jug.

It wouldn't just be a good story, it would be actually watching someone completely recreate their life.

Keep it up Greg, we're all pulling for ya.

Photo courtesy of David Cannon, Getty Images

What Did the Notables Do?

While we continue to watch the best in the world struggle on the Royal Birkdale links like Charles Barkley, it is worth seeing what some of the big names shot today in the winds.

Justin Rose - 82
Lee Westwood - 78
Jean Van de Velde - 80
David Duval - Currently 12-over today
Phil Mickelson - 76
Ernie Els - 74
Adam Scott - 77

Not a single person has broke par today and it doesn't look like anyone will, with most of the golfers still on the course a few over par.

When it's so windy that flying a kite might be hazardous, you know it's going to be tough to score.

Photo courtesy of Richard Heathcote, Getty Images

Well This Looks Fun

Honestly, just watching the British Open makes me a tad exhausted.

Wind, wind and a little more wind has made everyone step back and all the guys that are around seven or eight over are as happy as a clam.

Some guy named Simon Wakefield fired an even-par round of 70 and is in the clubhouse at five-over, which I'd say will be leading without much of an argument.

Greg Norman, Padraig Harrington and K.J. Choi are doing their best to keep it together, but it's playing so hard bogeys are inevitable.

Keep yourself bundled up and keep refreshing because I'll continue to post as the afternoon progresses.

(Honestly, I think the cameramen drank more than I did last night. These guys follow golf balls like a blind guy would at midnight.)

Photo courtesy of Stuart Franklin, Getty Images

Your "At The Turn" Leaderboard

Well, Padraig Harrington just missed a short par putt to move a shot out of the lead, but it's been pretty interesting with this wind.

Greg Norman, K.J. Choi and Jim Furyk are all tied at two-over, but it's one of those days that has anyone, and I mean anyone, could hit a decent shot and find themselves in the highest of hay.

If you wanted British Open weather, you've got it, and all the people on the course are just trying to keep their heads above water with hopes of decent weather tomorrow.

So, Who Ya Got?

Day two of the Open Championship is in the books and we've had just about everything. Bad weather, good weather, past champions, young faces, Tiger Woods even though he's not playing, and some excellent coverage by TNT.

The thing is, after two days, we have less of an idea of who's going to win than we did before the tournament started.

Greg Norman? David Duval? K.J. Choi? John Da...oh, never mind.

The big question is, who will win this thing?

Lets breakdown the leaders and go over what they have to do to win this thing.

K.J. Choi - Maybe the only person on the leaderboard besides Jim Furyk who doesn't surprise you. He birdied 17 and 18, so it appears he can handle the pressure and was here last year (finished t-8 at Carnoustie). He needs to remember he's actually the top dog right now at the Open and play with that confidence (Oh, and fist pump as much as possible, high comedy).

Greg Norman - Just forget everything. Norman said he's probably practiced more tennis lately than golf, and tomorrow is going to be a completely different beast that he hasn't attacked in probably 15 years (when he last won the Open). If he can keep that putter on fire and forget that he's 53, maybe he can pull this thing off. Not to be the pessimist, but you see a lot of this in the first couple of days at a major, and not many are around Sunday night. No matter, he's still the story of this major.

Camilo Villegas - Play like you did the last five holes on Friday. Villegas is in this tournament because he caught fire and birdied his final five holes, but the Florida Gator has never won on the PGA Tour, so it will be tough to not be thinking about that tomorrow and Sunday. I'd so momentum is his best friend right now, so try to side with that and not that huge nervous side that will be around all weekend.

Rocco Mediate - Oh, Rocco, how the golf world is loving you now. The best thing for you to do is embrace this popularity and go with it. Nothing makes a golfer better than personal confidence and it looks like Mediate has it. I don't think Hollywood could write a better story than Rocco losing to Tiger at the U.S. Open is truly amazing fashion, only to come back at the next major and snatching the Claret Jug. If he keeps this play up he's going to be part of Azinger's crew in Valhalla.

Graeme McDowell - Keep it rolling. Two wins on the European Tour including a victory at last week's Scottish Open, McDowell is the hottest player in Europe. Two made cuts and two missed cuts in the British, McDowell has the experience and would make it two in a row at the British for Ireland.

Jim Furyk - Be you. Furyk is the most talented player on the leaderboard and has played very Jim Furyk golf so far, with consecutive 71s. He's won a major and had some success at the British, so the favorite from my eyes needs to just keep doing what he's doing. Furyk is one of the leaders that could benefit from the bad weather because he hits it solid and straight.

Padraig Harrington - Forget the wrist, remember Carnoustie. The defending champion is again in the hunt and after an eagle-birdie finish today, looks to be in as good a form as anyone. If Furyk isn't the favorite, it's Paddy.

David Duval - Think 2001. Duval wouldn't just be the best story of the week, he'd be the best story of the decade if he could pull off this victory. A guy that completely lost his golf game, Duval needs to remember he was a four-time All-American at Georgia Tech, a winner of 13 PGA Tour events and owns a Claret Jug. Reality might hit tomorrow, but the ride has been fun. I never thought I'd be this excited to see "Duval" near the lead.

You can sleep in tomorrow ladies and gents because the British doesn't start until 9 AM.

Photo courtesy of Ross Kinnaird, Getty Images

I Guess I HAVE to Address the TNT Coverage

Sigh.

Ok, when I was a little kid I wanted to be a sports broadcaster. That was my only dream. I actually taped a national championship football game once and would commentate it alone in my room, which is just about the dorkiest thing I've ever done (you know, besides start a blog about golf).

That being said, working for a TNT or ABC or something would still obviously be a dream come true. The thing is, I really don't know if I could have sat through that entire telecast without having to bitch out the producer/directors for this "telecast" they're giving us.

It's been pitiful to be fair. It is a golf telecast sans the golf. I've decided, in honor of TNT, I'm going to list the problems because that shows less work and probably is easier.

Here goes...

Lexus at the Turn - If you haven't been dumb lucky enough to watch golf for two straights days, let me introduce to you to the "Lexus at the Turn" feature. What it is, is a 20-minute or so thing where two broadcasters recap the golf, but they do it like every hour, so it's pointless. During this time, they show maybe one live golf shot. Maybe. Also, during this, you get those horrible Lexus commercials with an LPGA golfer and a Champions tour golfer.

The Features - So, did you know Tiger Woods isn't playing in the British Open this week? Well then, you know more than anyone at TNT. In hopes of drawing in more people with the thought of a Tiger feature, they've had one each day, which would make a lot of sense if Tiger owned TNT. He does not thus it makes no sense. Hey, at least there isn't any asterisk talk*.

*=lie

Showing live golf - If I were to rank important things during a golf telecast, they would go in this order.

1. Show Live golf
2. Everything else

Obviously TNT didn't get my memo because more than once, they've gone in this order - interview, commercial, ONE live golf shot (usually a meaningless putt), feature, commercial. It's like they thought of the one thing people care about and avoid it like it's Lindsay Lohan's vagina.

Interviews - Honestly, Jim Huber is great at his job, it's just overkill. Here are the people you should interview -- leaders (like Greg Norman, K.J. Choi), ONE previous winner that had a good/solid/memorable week (Tom Watson) and then one other player that did something fantastic (like David Duval or Jim Furyk). We don't need to interview EVERY SINGLE GOLFER that comes off the course. If you go against my advise, and decide to interview everybody, please ask one or two questions, and have a split screen that shows golf. Nobody wants to hear how Justin Leonard made birdie on the 11th hole. We see it, it's great, even in HD. Him talking about it doesn't give us a better grasp of the accomplishment.

Cutting Out Early - Yesterday, Sergio Garcia was the late star, the big name that cameras followed around most of his round. He got to 17, the birdie-friendly par-5, pumped a drive down the middle, and they cut the coverage. Are you fucking serious? We didn't want to see him hit the second shot on and/or make a birdie on 18? Good decision, "The Closer" is on next.

Ian Baker-Finch feature - This deserves its own category. On Thursday TNT did a feature on Baker-Finch's victory at Royal Birkdale in 1991. It was so long I seriously thought he was playing this week. I bet it went on for nearly 10 minutes, with an "interview" of Baker-Finch after, EVEN THOUGH HE WORKS FOR THE GODDAMN NETWORK!!!!

There you have it. If you DVR'd the coverage today, and are heading home, don't be fooled. They start out with this "we're going to show golf all day" introduction but really go back to the same 'ol shit. I need a drink.

John Daly Shoots 89, David Duval Continues to Roll

This picture was taken during the practice round at Royal Birkdale. It was a picture of two former British Open champions at the butt-end of their career, just hoping to have a little lightening strike at times and maybe make a check.

My, what a difference two days make.

David Duval shot 73-69 to land in a tie for fourth, looking sharp in all aspects of his game for the first time in years. John Daly fired rounds of 80-89 to find himself in last place, a week he won't soon forget for many reasons.

It's great to see a player like Duval having such a fantastic week, bringing back memories of Royal St. Georges to anyone that has followed golf the past decade. It's miserably dejecting to see a player like Daly, hanging his head and putting around the hole like a kid learning how to hold the club.

We'll get to see over the next two days if Duval is for real, or just toying with our emotions. He's kept it together for two days and personally claims to be hitting it as good as ever. Daly we won't see, and probably for good measure. If he's going to continue to chase this white ball around the course, he's going to need to figure some stuff out.

The practice round picture looked like two guys in the exact same place in their careers. I guess a photo can be extremely deceiving.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Franklin, Getty Images

Could This Be, Gulp, the Resurgence of David Duval For Good?

Now I know what you're thinking. No way should you assume a guy is "back" when he's played golf well for two days. This guy hasn't been good since 2001 and has fallen so far off the map, new golf fans have no clue who he even is.

Also, I know the argument can be made that at times over the past five years, Duval has found brilliance, even if for a moment. In 2003 he only made four of 20 cuts on tour, but one of those was the FBR Capital Open where he posted 62 in the second round. In 2006 he opened his season with a 63 in the final round of the Sony Open, only to make 12 of 23 cuts on the way in.

My point is, Duval was one of the best golfers on tour, overtaking Tiger Woods as top golfer in the late 90s, before he dropped off the map because of health issues and his love for snowboarding.

He's been talking about much fun this is and how well he's hitting it and maybe, just maybe he found out how to play the game again.

This entire argument could be tossed aside with a bad third round or a choke job on Sunday, but for now, it seems that every shot he hits is comfortable and any situation he's been in has been handled well.

If anything it's nice to see David Duval again. I guess with Tiger's absence, Nike needed someone to step it up.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Franklin, Getty Images

K.J. Choi Is Leading By Thisssss Much

K.J. Choi, with a bomb birdie putt on the 18th hole, is your new leader of the Open Championship.

A birdie-birdie finish on 17 and 18 secured a solid three-under 67 to put him as the only golfer in red figures after Friday.

A man of few words, Choi said he's hitting the ball well and really can take a lot from the Carnoustie experience a year ago.

Photo Courtesy of Andy Lyons, Getty Images

Ian Poulter Creates A New Color

I'm calling the pants either Whale Blue, The Sky Threw Up or Uranus Flannel.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Little, Getty Images

British Open Recap, Who Will Be Around, Who's Out

In case you haven't heard, the weather forecast for tomorrow at Royal Birkdale calls for 40 miles-per-hour winds.

What that means is all the guys that just make the cut might have a chance, if they shoot a low number tomorrow morning before the winds get bad, to get back in the hunt.

The obvious concern is you have to make the cut to get in, and with the cut line hovering around 8-over, here are some that are just in and just out.

Currently 8-over - Todd Hamilton, Woody Austin, Steve Stricker, Trevor Immelman, Sean O'Hair, Phil Mickelson and Colin Montgomerie.

Currently 9-over - Michael Campbell, Ernie Els, Davis Love III, Paul Casey and Andres Romero.

Currently 10-over - Stewart Cink, Pat Perez (who went 82-68), Tom Watson, and Aaron Baddeley.

The cut keeps moving between 8-over and 9-over, so anything around there will be just on the cusp.

Also, K.J. Choi is now tied for the lead with Greg Norman, with Camilo Villegas and David Duval a shot back. Padraig Harrington finished his round eagle-birdie for a 68 that has him just two shots back of the lead, as is Jim Furyk and Rocco Mediate. Whew. Did you get all that?

Photo courtesy of Andy Lyons, Getty Images

David Duval, We've Missed Ya

You really can't say enough about the impressive play of David Duval, who just chipped in on the 10th hole to move two shots back of Greg Norman.

Duval, who has only made one cut all year on the PGA Tour, looks as good as ever, and you can't say enough about his play.

The guy has had such a roller coaster ride the last few years, it would be great if he could keep this up and actually have his name hanging around the leaderboard come Sunday.

Think of this -- the final grouping tomorrow could realistically be Greg Norman and David Duval. Do you think the starter would check those names to make sure he wasn't being fooled?

Photo courtesy of Andrew Redington, Getty Images

Live Chat at FanHouse

Swing by FanHouse and join in on the live chat. It's fun! I'm funny! Hehehe. Free cookies!

Earth To Greg Norman, You're 53-Years-Old!

What is Greg Norman thinking?

Doesn't he know the drill?

Tiger Woods is out, so the script calls for a young guy to win this thing so we can start comparing him to Tiger for the next five months. You know, the 'ol "Anthony Kim might be better thank Tiger at this point!"

You winning doesn't give us that. It gives us a story. "Oh, the guy that always chokes? Yeah, he won the British at 53 in nasty conditions against the toughest field in golf after just getting married."

How boooooooooring. Feel good stories in golf?

Image courtesy of Ross Kinnaird, Getty Images

Live Chat at FanHouse

Hey everyone. Bundle up, clean the face of your long irons and head over to FanHouse for the live chat during Sergio Garcia's first round. He bogeyed the first hole, so I made some poor joke and nobody laughed. It's FUN!

On Shooting 80, a Van de Velde Sighting and Why Sergio Might Have It The Best

When I woke up this morning and turned on the HD version of this rainy Thursday in England, Ernie Els was three-over. "Respectable," I thought as I got settled in to check what these guys were going to see the rest of the day.

Well, Els must not have agreed, because the Big Easy went mark of the beast on us from holes 14-16, triple, bogey, double. He went on to shoot a nine-over 80 and basically did the complete opposite of his fellow countryman Retief Goosen.

I don't care what anyone says, people love to root for Jean Van de Velde. The Frenchman that may or may not have struggled at Carnoustie a few years back is even par through eight holes, making one bogey and one birdie. If he could continue this for a day or two, it would at least have people that could care less about a Tiger-less British Open talking about it. "Hey, remember that guy that rolled his pants up at Carnoustie? The dude is leading again!"

Also, the Open Championship goes hand-in-hand with weather conditions, and sometimes you get the best of a year because you landed the best draw. Garcia hasn't teed up yet and it appears the weather is becoming a touch easier, which would only benefit El Nino. If he wants the stars to align, they're moving to position, so Garcia needs to go out today and take advantage of this. It is definitely his tournament to win or lose at this point with all the big names falling off.

(Oh, and Kenny Perry is probably the happiest person in the world right now, laughing at this weather as he gets ready to tee it up in his short sleeve shirt and visor out in Milwaukee.)

Photo courtesy of Warren Little, Getty Images

Goosen Opens With a 71, Makes Us Remember His Name

Retief Goosen, leading the Open Championship in the clubhouse (Article on FanHouse).

Vijay Singh, Maybe Not Going to Win the British

For all those that had Vijay Singh in their British Open pool, you can probably go ahead and mail in your cash.

Singh is 11-over through 15 holes, making just five pars all day so far.

He isn't alone, in the Big Names Tanking Department.

Phil Mickelson is eight-over through 11 holes, and Ernie Els just made a triple-bogey on the 14th hole to move to six-over.

Ian Baker-Finch said it so I can't take credit, but 74-75 is about par today, so if you can keep it around two or three over, you'll be money after day one. Like Justin Rose just said after his first round 74, you can't win a golf tournament the first day but you sure can lose it.

Photo courtesy of ADRIAN DENNIS, AFP

Good Morning (And Yes, My Couch Looks Way Better Than Royal Birkdale)

Good morning everyone, it's early Thursday morning and across the pond, the weather looks as exciting as three push-ups.

Rain gear, gusty winds and overcast is recipe for what you're seeing, with no golfer under par. Retief Goosen was one-under through 14 holes but just missed a two-foot par putt to get back to even par.

Talk about flying under the radar, I honestly haven't heard Goosen's name all week.

The Goose has faired pretty well at the Open over the years, carding four consecutive top-10s from 2002-2005. Always a name people brought up during major championships, Retief has dropped off over the years in people's minds.

Defending champion Padraig Harrington is two-over, Ernie Els and John Daly are three-over and Phil Mickelson is eight-over.

Snuggle up with a blanket if you're watching this kiddos, and try not to imitate some of these golf swings.

Rainy photo courtesy of Andrew Redington, Getty Images

The Night Before

If you live on the East Coast, it's already British Open week, and you're probably asleep with images of pot-bunkers dancing in your head.

Tomorrow morning, at 5 AM mountain time, I'll be up watching the British as it begins, and possibly live blogging the thing for the Fanhouse.

If you think you'd be up for a live blogging, leave a message tonight letting me know so at least I believe people other than my mom check this website.

It's the (second) best tournament of the year starting in just a few wee hours, so get your sleep and get excited for a brown golf course. It's the Open boys and girls, and Tiger is an ocean away.

Awkward oral photo courtesy of Andrew Redington, Getty Images

Deadspin and FanHouse At the Same Time and I Didn't Even Have to Hack Anything

My buddy Will Brinson screen-captured this for me today, when both my golf previews were top of the front page on both Deadspin and FanHouse.

I'm pretty sure I will never rule the internet because I'm not smart enough and am not related to Al Gore, so this will probably be the closest I get.

Thanks to AJ Daulerio and the entire FanHouse crew, and Brinson, who is smarter than me in all aspects of everything and kinda looks like Tom Selleck in his picture.

Sergio Garcia, Your 2008 British Open Champion?

It is hard to type those words and believe them, but that is who DTCC is going with. I hate to pick the favorite, avoiding the Tiger Woods pick like that girl from high school you know that has the Clap, but it's just too hard to find someone else I like more.

Garcia played well at Royal Birkdale in 1998 as an amateur (t-29) and has finished in the top-10 six of the last sevens years at the British.

He's too good to not win a major, so I'm defaulting him here because he tends to compete with Woods out of contention.

Maybe I'm stupid, which I wouldn't argue is incorrect, but I'm picking Garcia to take home his first Claret Jug.

I have a preview right here on Deadspin in the next hour or so and this preview over on the FanHouse that previews certain players I'm watching this week.

Photo courtesy of Richard Heathcote, Getty Images

Alright, Live Chat At FanHouse Link

Hello all. If you're bored at work on this wonderful Wednesday and want to scream about anything, come join the live chat at FanHaus, starting at 1 PM Eastern.

If it isn't interesting, you actually have the ability to yell at me, which is a bonus!

Come join in, bring your sandwiches.

Quote of the Day

The honors go to Geoff Ogilvy, who tossed out this amazing line when discussing all the Tiger Woods conversation that looms over the British Open.

"I just hope they've taught the engraver how to put an asterisk on the trophy, then everyone will know what the tournament was all about," former U.S. Open champ Geoff Ogilvy said through a grin.

British Open, Thursday Tee Times, And John Daly

Hola and welcome to the day before the British Open. Today is awesome, and will be full of things from around the world wide web.

First, here are the tee times for Thursday's matches.

Second, over at the FanHouse, I'll be live chatting at 1 PM Eastern about all the British Open entails, so come join in. I'll have a link to the chat up about noon.

Also, click here for maybe the best picture of two people that have tanked in golf ever. It's a classic photo and a great story (hint : it includes John Daly).

Ernie Els Said Tiger Should Chill With Injury

If there is someone to consult on the Tiger Woods injury it is most certainly Ernie Els.

The Big Easy had a similar knee injury and said he thinks he came back too early, warning Woods not to do the same.

"Tiger has a tough rehabilitation ahead and time is going to be the main battle for him. If he comes back too early it could have really serious consequences. I had the same operation and came back a little too early because I had a date in mind and was extremely stubborn. I was trying too hard to be back within five months," Els said.

If we all know Tiger a little bit, we know this will not be the case. He is going to rush back, try to win the Masters next year and as long as they don't have to amputate both legs, probably will. It's pretty crazy to think that his last victory at Augusta was 2005, seeing as the course was practically made for him. I'm sure he's hungry for another green jacket, so Ernie, thanks for the advise, but Team Tiger will probably be gnawing at the bit come April.

Back to Back Hole in Ones? Cool, Yes, But Not As Cool As Writing About It

I have been keeping up with the evolution of Deadspin post-Leitch era, and have become fond of Clay Travis, especially after he dropped the apostrophe from his name.

His article on the Jacksonville boys that made back-to-back hole in ones is pretty much as dead-on as it gets.

The story is simple. Two brothers, aged 9 and 11, made consecutive hole in ones at TPC Sawgrass, and not on the 17th hole.

Hanks and Davis Massey made the first aces of their young golf careers with Callaway balls stamped with the number "3" and ending in the cup, cut in the back left. Hanks used a 9-iron and Davis an 8-iron, with the estimated distance to the hole placed at 103 yards.

Oddly enough, their father has only one hole-in-one in his life - nearly 30 years ago to the day, when he was 13.

Wow, kids that make aces. I love these stories. Blind people, armless golfers, people that swing like an imaginary eagle is haunting them -- everyone get in the mix. I'll just be a normal golfer without one.

It's fun on this side of the line. Come on over, the drinks are free!

NY Times Report : Golfers Cheat...A Lot

It's worth a minute or five of your time to pound through this article by Bill Pennington of the New York Times.

Pennington and the NY Times did a study on the propensity of cheating in golf, and found some startling numbers.

In a recent online poll of more than 7,000 golfers, 70 percent said they cheated on the course. A 2002 survey of 400 top business executives reported that 82 percent admitted to cheating at golf. Around the same time, PGA Tour caddies were questioned about cheating, and 26 percent said they had seen players cheat on tour.

At first, I thought "Holy hell, 70 PERCENT, that is INSANE." After settling down and finishing the article, I concurred. Bad and recreational golfers cheat at golf. It's a rule all by itself.

See, I play pretty decent golf. I follow the rules and try to get around the course in and around par but take the lumps of a bad shot out of bounds or a error in the lake. It's just as much a part of the game as golf tees and an ice-cold Arnold Palmer (drink not golfer). The rules are what make golf so individualistic and I would never want to take away from the honor.

The thing is, bad golfers and recreational golfers have no idea of the rules. They couldn't tell you the proper penalty strokes of a ball sailing over those white stakes because frankly, most don't even know the proper procedure for a ball finishing on a cart path. The rules of golf are extensive, just ask the AJGA.

I play with golfers of all types of skill level and never have I once been upset (unless we're playing a match of some sort) when they want to take a second ball off the tee or grab the putt as it's rolling by the hole even when it's going to be three-feet back for that double-bogey. It's how they approach the game.

If more people knew the rules of golf, they'd be better at this. After thinking about it, 70 percent seems a little low to me.

Padraig Harrington Injured Wrist, Might Be Out At British

He is the defending champion, and he is one of my favorites, so to lose my favorite goofy Irishman would be downright depressing.

Check it out at FanHaus.

Maybe Save This Until After The British Open

Never have I considered myself Captain of Perfect Timing (just ask my ex) but I'm pretty sure when heading over to England, for the British Open, it's best not to admit you didn't like links golf when you first played it. Especially if you've won the thing five times. And will be in the field again this year. And will be broadcasting the event for ABC. Oh, and if you're American.

Tom Watson, winner of the 1983 British Open at Royal Birkdale, said this to the USA Today.

“I drove the ball right where he told me, right down the middle of the fairway, and we never found it,” Watson said. “I dropped a ball and hit to the green. Then I went looking around and there was this little pot bunker about 30, 40 yards off line from my drive and there it was. Took a bad bounce.

“I remember thinking, ‘This, I don’t like this.’ ”

Well, two things should have happened there Mr. Watson. You should have shelled out the five pounds for a yardage book or had a more acclimated caddy (Bruce Edwards, you're the man, no direct jab at you). Links golf is the best in the world because you have to be creative, intelligent and most of all, confident in the shot you're hitting. There aren't many courses in the States that you have to hit an 8-iron from 100 yards or putt from 20 yards off the green. It's links golfs and it's amazing.

Watson also said he could see himself competing this week, which is strange since he plans to be in the broadcasting booth come Saturday and Sunday.

Watson insists that given the right course conditions, he can compete this week against a field that includes “players that weren’t even born when I won my first Open title.”

“But that’s the beauty of the game; you can still play late in your competitive life,” Watson said. “I feel as if I could compete here. I have played half-decently in the Open the last few years.”

Those course conditions? One of those "Attack Everyone That isn't 58-years-old" windstorms that all young people hate. Damn you wind, damn you to hell!

Ummm, No Thanks?

I just read an article helping hackers find the sweet spot on their driver.

The idea -- apply sunscreen to the face of the club and after you hit the ball, you'll see where you hit it. They call this practice tip "how to waste money on things that cost a lot." It's really practical.

Anyway, you can either put sunscreen on the face of your club or just use tape, which you don't have to keep applying and costs like $1 for nine miles.

Quote of the Day

Not like this will be a regular feature, but I thought it was interesting after reading this article on The Guardian.

"The crowd were laughing at me," Rocco Mediate said after laying in a fairway at Royal Birkdale and getting treatment for his back. "But they were not laughing when they heard my bones crack."

Oh, how pleasant. Nothing like some bones cracking to shut people up. Sometimes when my nephews are being a little too much, I'll just break a couple of my fingers to get them to settle down. That trick works like hot milk.

A Weekly Check of the Golfweek Rankings

I actually took the time to read the Golfweek/Sagarin Performance Index Rankings to see exactly what they take into account.

Here is the explanation.

The Golfweek/Sagarin Performance Index assigns a power rating to all of the players who have played a combined 11 events on nine worldwide tours - PGA Tour, PGA European Tour, Nationwide Tour, Japan Golf Tour, PGA Tour of AustralAsia, Southern Africa Tour, Asian PGA Tour, European Challenge Tour and the Canadian Tour - over the past 52 weeks.

So, does that mean the more you compete worldwide, the higher your ranking, or is that just including all the tours Golfweek counts?

No idea, but we've been tracking Arron Oberholser in these things since he was ranked second behind just Tiger Woods a few weeks ago.

Now, Oberholser is ranked 16th, but our attention is turning to Fred Couples, who is ranked ninth on this thing even though he is 81st on the FedEx Cup point standings.

I really would love an email explaining this, and until I get one, I'm going to stay baffled by the idea that this makes any sense at all.

Oh, and Paula Paula Creamer Won

I have a very simple rule in golf that I try to follow as much as humanly possible.

If you shoot an 11-under 60 in the first round of a golf tournament, you better win the damn thing.

Paula Creamer, fresh off her choke job at the Women's U.S. Open, fired that number on Thursday and managed to keep it together over the weekend, needing rounds of just 70-73 on Saturday and Sunday to notch her third win of the season at the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic.

Creamer mentioned the 60 after she accepted the trophy.

"After you shoot 60, I swear it's the hardest thing to come back out and play," Creamer said after accepting the $195,000 winner's check. "I managed to get it done. I hit a lot of good shots today. I can't be disappointed. If somebody was to go out and play a lot better than, then so be it. We thought we hit every number. We did. We made some good saves, it was a struggle."

Not to get off subject, but when Paula does laundry, how many loads of "pink" does she do in comparison to other colors? 4 to 1? 10 to 1?

Photo courtesy of Hunter Martin, Getty Immmmages

Charles Barkley's Golf Game is Like a Blog, Apparently

Honestly, Charles Barkley is the only guy in the world that gets away this stuff.

Barkley told NBC in an interview that his golf game is like a blog. Now, wait for it...

I'll let Deadspin hold your hand and walk you into the wild.

ME: "What did you mean by 'My game is like a blog?'

BARKLEY: "When I talked with you on Thursday, and you said your were blogging my rounds, I didn't know what that was. What's a 'blog?' It sounds awful."

(Note: Barkley is not kidding here.)

BARKLEY: "So when they asked me on television how to describe my golf game, I told them 'My game is like a blog.' Because I don't know what a blog is, but it don't sound good."

I mean, what can you say about that? It would be like saying my writing is like steeple or my basketball game is like plant, only if I had no clue what the hell a steeple or plant is.

It's so hard to find an actual human example to make this clear, I'm thinking that it might be a reverse test by Barkley and he might be smarter than all of us. This theory might be our modern day M.C. Escher painting. "Wait, the stairs are going up AND down all in the same building??!?!? This can't be!"

Charles Barkley's Swing is Improving

Seriously, this couldn't get any worse. This was Barkley's swing at the Tahoe Celebrity tournament yesterday.



Barkley said in an interview with ESPN, that Tiger Woods, his good buddy, is zero help in the swing department. The transcript is right here, and the video from it is right here after the Brett Favre rant by Steve A. Smith.

No, It Wasn't Me Who Was the "Golfer That Remained Anonymous" on Golf.Com

I was reading over the Golf.com interview with the anonymous golfer from the PGA Tour when I came across this nugget.

The only players who push Tiger in majors are guys like Bob May, Chris DiMarco and Rocco Mediate — guys with nothing to lose.

Oh really, Mr. Not Gonna Show His Name?

That sure does sound familiar. I'm trying to figure out where I've heard that. Ohhh, it was from my interview a few months ago with oobgolf.com. That's right.

I have said this before, but the best challenger for Tiger is the
golfer with nothing to lose. This is why golfers like Bart Bryant, or Woody Austin in the PGA or Rich Beem a few years ago stand up to El Tigre.

So, just to clarify, it wasn't me who Golf.com interviewed, because I'm not a PGA Tour player and they also don't have my cell phone number. Sorry for the confusion.

Hitting the Links, British Open Edition

Since there is so much going on around the world of golf and my fingers hurt sometimes from typing, here are some links to hit up this afternoon to get you caught up.

I guess golf fans would rather look at Jessica Simpson than Tony Romo, shockingly. Deadspin

Speaking of Tahoe, Rick Rhoden won his seventh Tahoe victo......zzzzzzzz. PGATour.com

Oh, and Romo did his best Woody Austin impersonation. FanHaus

Mickelson and Els talk about what the British will be without Tiger in the field. FanHaus

The British Open is in Milwaukee this year? Armchair Golfer

Oh, and Paula Creamer failed to shoot four rounds of 60, but still won. LPGA

Tom Watson To Be in the Booth at the British for ABC

Who better to broadcast a British Open than a guy that won it five times?

ABC announced that Tom Watson will be in the booth on both Saturday and Sunday to help push along the coverage.

From Awful Announcing via USA Today:

Watson says ABC/ESPN, which no longer covers much golf, went to him about working a few events. "I said no. I'm not good at it," says Watson, who's had "no more than a handful" of TV jobs. "I have a difficult time talking over somebody talking in my ear. It concerns me. I could start stuttering."

But he says he couldn't resist working the British Open: "There's no better venue to give this a try."

So, yeah, Watson will be in the booth broadcasting from a course he won at in 1983. I'm not one to criticize (lie) and I love Tom, but he doesn't really seem like the broadcasting type. Oh well, he's better than Chris Berman.

Sergio Garcia the Favorite at Royal Birkdale

The main man of FanHaus, Micheal David Smith, just wrote up a little something about the odds at the British this week, and it appears Sergio Garcia has the best odds to win.

Garcia is 8-to-1, Ernie Els is 12-to-1 and Schmickelson is 14-to-1.

Check the article, because the last line made me laugh out loud.

Kenny Perry Is Enjoying The Walk

Say what you want, but this Kenny Perry guy is becoming a pretty damn good story.

I wrote this over at the FanHaus, but I wanted to make a couple of notes here.

Perry had a similar run like this in 2003, winning three times in a "breaking into the scene" sort-of way. He's won three of his last five tournaments, and has to be a favorite at this week's GMO.

With a win at the GMO, and maybe one more victory, is it possible that he is Player of the Year over Woods, with his four victories (that included a major)?

Also, is there NO WAY we can get Perry to reconsider this British Open business? The guy is the hottest golfer in the solar system and has had success at the British, so unless he really just doesn't care about winning a major, I think this is his best chance by far. I thought this quote was really telling of why he doesn't really want to play majors.

"I don't want to live in a fishbowl," he said. "I don't want Tiger status."

I'm not putting words in his mouth, but that sure makes it seem that he's worried winning a major might make him a BIG BIG star and he isn't necessarily in it for that.

Whatever the case is, I think it would be worth betting on him this week in Milwaukee. The dude is making the Sun look like a frosty beer mug.

Getty images

So You Don't Forget What Tiger Woods Looks Like

Via request from my buddy John, here is a great Monday morning video, perfect because even the best have bad days.

Welcoming Will McKenzie's Flat-Brimmed Bill Back to Golf

Everyone loves that golfer that doesn't do everything according to the Tim Finchem book.

Will McKenzie, your John Deere Classic leader after rounds of 65-64, broke on the scene at the Sony Open last year with a t-4 and had everyone raving about him.

"Oh, he surfs!"

"Look at how he wears his hat!"

"Did you hear, he golfs AND surfs!"

Now 214th on the FedEx Cup point list, McKenzie is in desperate need of a solid finish to retain his card for '09.

Oh, and Kenny Perry is t-4 right now, which at this point in the season, is underachieving.

Photo courtesy of Kevin C. Cox, Getty Images

Luke Donald Out of British With a Wrist

When did the PGA Tour turn into professional bull-fighting?

Luke Donald is the latest to drop his spot in next week's British Open, citing a wrist injury (bad "Wrist injury" joke diverted).

Englishmen love Donald like pub grub, so to have him out is rather disappointing for the country hosting the event.

"I consider The Open Championship to be at the top of the list of the four biggest tournaments I play each year, so it is extremely disappointing to not be able to be at Royal Birkdale," Donald said.

No worries England, you do have Ian Poulter, who is now the best golfer in the entire world since Tiger Woods is out.

Note to Sportswriters -- Hating Tiger Won't Get You Very Far

It's apparent to anyone that follows golf that a lot of the players Americans aren't that passionate about the Ryder Cup anymore. There is no purse, it is another event taking time out of their busy schedules and the competition between Europe and the USA is lost because everyone plays together all the time anyway.

With that said, I'm sure Tiger Woods understands he has to take his lumps when Ryder Cup week comes around. As much fun as getting beat every other year is, you can understand where Woods comes from.

That is why I'm not in love with this top-7 reasons blurb by Michael Bamberger. Dude, all those veteran players would rather be doing something else, not just El Tigre.

1) I was last at Valhalla in 2000, for the PGA Championship, where I beat Bob May in a playoff. I'm gonna need a little more incentive to go back.

2) The thing I like about this knee rehab is that it gets me OUT of the Ryder Cup.

3) I'm trying to set myself out of the 2009 Presidents Cup, and showing up at this year's Ryder Cup only hurts those chances.

4) I'll be busy that week with family stuff, teaching Sam the stinger and how to carry a cellphone and a box of Nike shoes to avoid autograph hounds.

5) If I go to the Ryder Cup I might have to answer questions about my knee. I'd rather clean Butchie's car.

6) In the team room, I'd have to act like I feel we have a better team than the Euros. My acting's pretty good, but there are limits.

7) I have more good friends on the Euro team than the American team -- where does the "w" go in awkward?

(Wait, does Tiger not autograph for people? I thought all those guys were pretty good at it. Maybe I'm just oblivious.)

Opinions?

Mickelson Hole-In-Ones to a 67

Phil Mickelson, king of the unexpected, made a hole-in-one today at the Scottish Open on his way to a four-under 67.

You're probably thinking to yourself, wow, it's still morning, how did this guy already finish his round????

Well, the Scottish Open is in Scotland, and it's like earlier or later or something over there. Also, they have pies, but they aren't sweet and have a lot of potatoes and stuff in them. Yeah, strange, I know.

One Goal For Celebs in Tahoe - Beat Barkley

There are only three people Charles Barkley has a legitimate shot at beating in golf -- beginners that have never touched a golf club, newborn babies and people without arms.

That is why at this weeks American Century Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe, the goal for all participants is simple -- beat Chuck.

As long as I'm ahead of Charles, I'm in good shape," Jason Kidd said.

It shouldn't be that difficult, since Barkley is 500 to 1 to win the event, something that would happen around the same time Sean William Scott won an Oscar or an offspring of Hulk Hogan ran for president.

I mean, Barkley's golf game couldn't be worse. His swing looks like what would happen if the movie "Vanilla Sky" was viewed on shrooms. You really can't explain what happens with this thing except he takes it "straight" back, starts his downswing and then some invisible goblin grabs his arms and makes him do things nobody from this world should do.

One of my favorite quotes ever about Barkley's golf game came from a 2001 article in the USA Today.

Barkley insists he's a 12 handicap, but his friends say that number is more likely his average score per hole.

"Tiger and I were in Vegas playing golf not so long ago, and he asked if I'd heard about the new super Kmart store being built there," Barkley recalls. "And I said, 'No, where are they gonna build it?' And Tiger said, 'In the space between your ball and mine.'

With that said, here is your Friday morning Charles golf swing video, brought to you by evil humans that want everyone dead.

Thank You PGA Golfers (Not Named Tiger)

Over at the FanHaus a week or so ago, I wrote a little mini-column asking if the PGA Tour is dying because of Tiger Woods. No, not like I'm dumb enough to think Tiger is a problem, just the fact that he gets so much attention that people tend to forget about golf sans Mr. Woods.

"Hey, is Tiger playing this week. No? Alright, time for some yard work."

With Woods out, every golf fan took a collected gasp at the possibility of having to endure the rest of the season without our top dog. What are we to do? How will we cope? Who will WIN?

It turns out, the PGA Tour is still fine. Sure, ratings are down, but the play has been extremely impressive, with some great players coming through and winning some of the bigger tournaments.

We've had the great story of a 47-year-old, Kenny Perry, dominating a sport when most are just trying to survive until they're invited to the Champions Tour.

We've had a 23-year-old, Anthony Kim, show us that youth can dominate and Tiger didn't kill the inner fortitude of all the under-25 golfers in the world.

Sergio learned to putt, Phil has an actual shot at a British Open and even Woody Austin is making golf enjoyable again.

The PGA Tour will survive, it appears, and it might just make the coming years fairly competitive when all these guys see they don't need Tiger to survive.

Shooting 60 Is Pretty Low

I've never shot a 60 before in my life.....



.......


......


......(ok, just waiting for you to get up off the groud and back in your chair)

...but Paula Creamer did today in the first round of the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic.

She never really flirted with 59 because she birdied her last three holes just to have a chance at 60 and needed to hole a 7-iron on the last for 59, but it's still pretty cool.

I like Paula Creamer. There, I said it.

Has Kenny Perry Been Drinking Too Much Gatorade Tiger?

I'm not kidding when I saw Kenny Perry might have that same thing happen to him like that farmer in the first "Men In Black." He's chilling at home, drinking ice tea with his wife when some spaceship landed and some alien entered his skin and had the impressive ability to shoot low numbers and not make bogeys.

Perry is straight unconscious this year, five-under for the day at TPC Deere Run through 11 holes, just a shot back of current leader Ken Duke.

Kenny, what happened to you man? You're this 47-year-old freak now that is dominating the PGA Tour, skipping majors, putting people away and looking fairly dapper with your salt and pepper hair. I'm scared.

I take back everything I said about Perry skipping the British. Dude, you need to play in the British Open. It's your favorite major, you're playing the best golf of anyone on tour and you can seriously win this damn thing. Kenny, jump on a plane, fly overseas and win the British. It might be the best chance for an American not named Tiger Woods to bring back the Claret Jug.

Lefties Get a Lift

Being a southpaw golfer is tough. You never can find clubs you want, your cart partners always park the cart on the wrong side of the golf ball and your idol is Phil Freaking Mickelson.

Good news though, the World Golf Hall of Fame is finally breaking their "right-hand only" trend and inducting the first ever lefty. Sir Bob Charles, winner of the 1963 British Open, is heading to the Hall, and people that smudge ink when writing will be celebrating everywhere.

Honest question -- if you're responding to a "Sir Whomever," do you have to say "Yes, Sir, Sir?"

Congrats Sir Charles, paving the way for people that hit a slice right to left all over the world.

Brandon Jennings, Wilbur Officially Hates You

Does anyone know how much it costs to go to a NIT Tournament basketball game, because that's the only way I'm seeing the Arizona Wildcats this season.

It was announced today by Andy Katz that Brandon Jennings, the point guard a la Fresh Prince, is heading to Europe instead of Tucson, supposedly because he's losing a bet to a buddy on Passport stamps.

"Over the course of the last two months I have consulted a number of people in basketball before coming to this decision," Jennings said in a statement released through Valle. "I would like to thank the University of Arizona for their interest and support through this process."

I'm gonna need a heavy duty shovel for all that bullshit. You couldn't pass a test and decided to go to Europe because it was your only other choice. Don't go saying "Thanks" to a program you just threw under an 18-wheeler "Fast and the Furious" style.

Could you imagine seeing Chase Budinger's face when he pulled this up online? I'm sure the thoughts going through his head went something to the tune of "Shit, even playing for the Clippers would be better than this."

Like a buddy of mine told me, at least we have Arizona football...oh, right, nevermind.

Tiger Is Blogging Now?

Yep, I guess he's that bored.

You can check out his blog right here on PGATour.com.

The Kenny Perry British Open Debate

A week or so ago, I wrote that Kenny Perry might have been making the right decision for himself by skipping the British Open in hopes of gaining even more Ryder Cup points, but it was going to seem strange to critics.

It turns out Perry has been enduring a ton of raised eyebrows on the decision.

No matter your take on it, Perry can continue to fall back on the "I already committed to these tournaments when I was playing like a dog" song and dance that will get people to leave him alone. The statement is true (and extremely respectable) but I'm sure those tournaments deal with golfers that are hot at the time picking bigger events over their site. Nonetheless, Perry is committed to this and even if you're caught scratching your head, he (and Ryder Cup Captain Paul Azinger) know that this is the decision that will best benefit Perry.

The one thing that will be interesting, and Kenny brings it up, is after all this, he tanks at the Ryder Cup.

“I told (wife) Sandy, this might be the worst thing I’ve ever wished for,” Perry said. “I may play poorly and get drilled.”

If the Americans want a shot, Perry and newfound hero Anthony Kim will have to play out of their grills at Valhalla. I have a feeling this Ryder Cup could be a little refreshing for the American team. No Tiger, no pressure, no worries, just play golf.

Best Advice For Making a Hole-In-One -- Lose All Your Other Balls

Making a hole-in-one is a ton of skill and a ton of luck.

You can hit thousands of great shots with none of them dropping to the bottom of the cup, or you can be such a shitty golfer that the only option you have is to make a hole-in-one to avoid losing your last possible golf ball.

Allan Errington was playing in a staff event, and had made the following scores on his first eight holes - 7,7,7,7,7,7,6,8. Arriving to the par-3 ninth, Errington said he pulled out a seven iron because "everything else was a seven."

The freak went ahead and knocked the damn thing in for an uno after he lost all 23 of his other available golf balls in the round.

Not only did he join the illustrious Hole-In-One Club but the lucky bastard won a Volkswagen Golf for his services.

Awesome.

Nationwide Will Host First $1 Million Purse, And No, This Isn't a Post from 2005

Seriously, isn't it strange that of all the huge prizes we hear of all these people winning, one little step down from the PGA Tour has yet to eclipse a million in total winnings for a tournament?

This week's Nationwide Tour Players will be the first of it's kind, with a winning purse of $180,000, or, just a tough more than what three guys got for finishing in a tie for ninth at last week's AT&T National.

Anthony Kim Highlights From His 65

Thanks to Ottawa Golf Blog, we have highlights of that final round 65 from Anthony Kim that secured him his second PGA Tour victory.

If you didn't catch the action, it's pretty good stuff.

Leitch's First Official Post on NY Mag

If you don't like the Mets, you probably don't care, but here is the first Will Leitch piece as a full timer over at NY Mag.

Fredrik Jacobson Has An Interesting Look

This here is Fredrik Jacobson, a Swedish golfer who is sporting a rather interesting look.

My simple question -- do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you think he looks like Brad Pitt in "Ocean's 13" when he is trying to pitch more earthquake awareness to Al Pacino's character?

Photo courtesy of Hunter Martin, Getty Images

Michelle Wie Gets Another Chance to Miss a Cut

Good news for all Canadian golf fans that enjoy seeing a girl hit it past their beloved Mike Weir, Michelle Wie just got a sponsor's exemption into the Canadian Women's Open.

Wie, who has made just two of her four cuts on the LPGA this season, missed the cut last season in this event and is desperate need of a solid finish to give herself a puncher's chance of making the top 90 and land a full tour card for next season.

The tournament is August 14-17, with a very salty field that includes the likes of Paula Creamer, Lorena Ochoa, and Annika Sorenstam.

(Also, this picture, for some reason, makes me extremely uncomfortable, so I thought I'd share the feeling with everyone on such a glorious Tuesday.)

A Bit Premature?

Now I'm all for getting excited about a golfer, especially when said golfer is the first young American to show maximum potential quickly, but are we really going to do this "next Tiger Woods" business?

I know, I know, after the Rafael Nadal win over Roger Federer, golf fans are praying for a rival that would give Woods a run, but it's GOLF. You play the course, you're having to beat EVERYBODY, and above all that, CAN ANYONE EVER BE TIGER WOODS?!?!?!

He's won twice, he's extremely talented and one of my favorite young players, but this could be a little aggressive. I'm hoping for a masterful run from someone soon as well, I just don't think it's fair to be comparing anyone to the greatest to ever live.

Is the 'Tiger Tour' Idea Really That Good?

Recently I ran across this article by Eric Adelson of ESPN.com, a very well-written, thought out piece about the ongoing conversation of a Tiger Tour.

If you're not familiar, the gist of the Tiger Tour argument is Woods could take golf globalization to a completely different level, eliminate the middle man between himself and the cash (similar to an actor producing his own movie) and loosening the monopoly grip the PGA Tour has on golf.

I agree with a lot of Adelson's points except this one.

The Tour has excelled as golf's Microsoft, building its own business while foreign tours struggle to compete.

Well, isn't that true for all sports? Maybe I'm being ignorant, but is there another major sport that thrives in a part of the world better than the USA? We dominate American football, basketball, baseball, golf and tennis, when looking at coverage and events.

Also, the diversity in golf tours is good for experience. Americans of all caliber travel overseas to work on their games as a professional. The Sunshine Tour, the Asian Tour, the Canadian Tour -- all of these are good for golf in different ways, and aren't necessarily getting "beat" by the PGA Tour, it's just sports, all sports, have a top league and people strive to get there.

Adelson did an enormous amount of research and found some interesting numbers (When Tiger turned pro, nine Tour members earned $1 million annually in pay. A decade later, that number is 99.) but I just think a Tiger Tour is too greed-driven.

Woods made $115 million last year and that number won't be going down anytime soon, so why would he jeopardize the future of a sport, his sport, to introduce something that would lose a lot of popularity amongst his peers.

Like Adelson pointed out, Greg Norman tried this with a World Tour in 1996, but got the idea shot down by PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem. The idea has been brought up, but I have a feeling it would be the beginning of the end for one of the two.

Also, why would Tiger put himself in such a jeopardizing situation? He's the King of Sports, why dip your toes into unfamiliar waters?

Quote of the Week

You know, Paul Goydos is a pretty funny guy, fit with a witty personality that rivals his bland demeanor.

When asked this past week about the idea that the next two majors won't mean as much, and deserve an asterisk because Tiger Woods won't be in the field, this was his gem.

"Then we need to put an asterisk next to all 18 of Jack's majors, because Tiger didn't play in any of those."

Ouch, Wow, Bam, Zing, but a very good point.

Where Have You Gone, Arron Oberholser?

If you don't check DTCC regularly (this guy doesn't blame you), you've missed out on the constant Golfweek Sagarin Performance Index that ranks professional golfers with a complicated system of darts and Jack Daniels.

The first time we checked in Arron Oberholser, ranked 165th in the FedEx Cup point standings, was second in these rankings.

Our boy ended up dropping to tenth, which made me feel like I just made a triple-bogey.

Now? Our kiddo is 17th after finishing t-72 in the AT&T National. This is getting bad Golfweek. Come on, he's made 7 of 8 cuts, get it together over there.

This Putter Looks Expensive

You might not realize it, but golf clubs do have the ability to look like my 1992 GameBoy after all.

The Adams Dixx Blue putter can gauge your stroke while you stroke it.

The biggest problem for golfers is getting it in the hole, but I'm assuming this putter is good for those that can never keep the putter head on line, straight back and straight through.

No worries if you're wondering why you'd pay $400 for a flatstick you can't use on the course -- the "computer insert" thingy pops out so it's legal on the golf course.

You know, during the Depression, people didn't have fun stuff like this to blow their savings on. 2008 -- the rich man's recession!

Anthony Kim's Belt Buckle Wins Second Event of the Season

If you don't love Anthony Kim, a young stud that knows how good he can be, you have some serious issues.

He's brash, cocky but so damn good it's justified and his win today showed just that.

Birdies on 1, 7, 9, 10 and 16 and pars the rest of the way was good enough for a 65 and the victory.

In an age that is best remembered as NCTT (nobody close to Tiger), Kim is starting to rattle some cages out on the links. At 23, he's winning, he likes it and he's in a perfect situation as the only young American since Woods to matter. I don't know about you, but my Ryder Cup interest just spiked a little.

Keep kicking some ass AK, even if it's done with those belt buckles.

Photo courtesy of Hunter Martin, Getty Images

Tom Pernice Jr., Only Man In America Bitching After Shooting a 63

There are few things you can do after shooting 63 that are unacceptable.

One thing I'd add to that list is complaining about the PGA Tour commissioner about things that have nothing to do with your current situation.

Pernice tied the course record at Congressional yesterday, shooting a seven-under 63 in the second round of the AT&T National to sit atop the leaderboard with Jeff Overton.

Instead of buying some beers or going home and just smiling at the scorecard, Pernice said the following.

"I think there's several things that commissioner Finchem has done a great job on, and I think there's been several things that he's very weak on," Pernice said.

Umm, alright, I'd agree with that. Most people in life, and at their jobs, do a good job at some things, a poor job at others. It's called being human (you know, how you made bogey on the fourth hole yesterday).

So, he just stopped complaining, right?

Umm, not exactly.

"Why isn't the PGA Tour and Tim Finchem stepping to the plate and using our own rules?" Pernice said. "Tim's been against it all the time. We should have our own rules, and this way we could use V-grooves and everybody can have the same set, and driving the ball in the fairway might make a difference."

The "V-grooves" debate he's talking about deals with the lax decision to allow U-groove wedges for tour players, essentially making it easier to spin the ball out of the fairway and rough. Guys like Pernice, 37th in driving distance this week, hate the fact that big bombers can smoke it off the tee without a worry about landing in the deep stuff because they can just hack it out and produce a lot of spin on the ball, losing the premium of getting the ball in the fairway. This would also be considered "worrying about something that isn't really your problem." Wanna prove a point? Hit a lot of fairways and score better.

Also, he threw this little nugget out there just to wrap it up.

"There are some things that the tour could do to help the sponsors," Pernice said. "I think there's got to be something. Michael Jordan didn't get to skip and not go play in Madison Square Garden against the Knicks when the Knicks were good and he didn't like playing there or whatever."

This, of course, is a direct jab at Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, who have the ability to pick and choose the events they want to play in. The fault in this argument is, of course, Jordan played a team sport while golf is individuals playing and producing for themselves, nobody else. If you miss a cut, you're the one to blame, not a bad pass by Scottie Pippen or a technical foul by Dennis Rodman. It isn't the fault of anyone but yourself, and the production is all yours. If you're number one in the world, leading the money list and FedEx Cup point system, why would you grind it out every week when you can pick and choose the big purses? Also, not sure if you know this or not, but Woods makes a few bucks from sponsors, so the $400,000 third place check just isn't that enticing.

Anyway, I thought it was worth addressing. I know Pernice is just speaking what a lot of tour players won't, but you can't force a golfer to play in tournaments and you can't complain about a rule that is the same for everyone. Nobody is getting special treatment with the wedges, so just suck it up and try to hit the fairways you're used to hitting.

It's golf, you can hit it dead down the fairway and be in the middle of a divot. You don't get to move it, you just have to play it.

Drug Testing Started, People With "III" at the End of Their Name Selected

In news that doesn't really surprise anyone, the PGA Tour started drug testing yesterday and Davis Love III and Charles Howell III were both randomly selected.

Even though both are absolute stacks and stacks of muscles, they passed, after getting what is being deemed the "steroids pink slip." (dum dum dum)

"I hope Gatorade Tiger passes the test," Howell said. "Because I put two bottles in me."

Ohhhh, Howell, funny man. Gatorade Tiger usually sparks those pesky drug tests, but it's good to have ONE yellow and ONE red, no more. If you mix them, heroin shows up all over the grid.

"They have a sink to wash your hands, and there were a half-dozen towels piled up in the corner," Howell said.

Wow, no blood in the corner or empty, nasty pee cups in the corner? What kind of soft show is this?

Anyway, the drug testing is upon us, and hopefully they'll continue to test older men winding down their careers and men that weigh 120 pounds.

The Stacy Lewis Debate

If you haven't heard yet, Golfweek reported that none of Stacy Lewis' earnings from the Women's U.S. Open will count towards her getting a LPGA tour card. Yeah, really awesome.

I would rant about it here, but I wrote this for FanHaus and honestly am so distraught over it, I can't fathom screaming more at the LPGA.

Idiots.

Wayne Gretzky's Daughter Plays Golf, Might be Attractive

Last night, at the exciting Rockies-Padres game, my buddies and I were bored and started betting on just about everything. We played the hit game (pass the cash, add a buck when it gets to you, pass it if your guy gets out, keep it if he hits), the Mound game (after the inning, pick if the ball ends up on dirt or grass when the ump throws it out for the pitcher) and even took bets on a girl in our section that was decked out in Rolling Stones gear. I won, calling 15 on the dot, but after thinking about it, decided we were all losers in that game.

The point for that is this -- Paulina Gretzky, daughter of the Great One, is very attractive, and I wouldn't have guessed in a million years she's only 19.

Anyway, nothing more to this except posting a picture of an attractive girl (who can really sing) on a golf course that isn't driving the drink cart. You're free to go back to not working while acting like you're working. The government should save all those economy stimulus checks and just give us the week off.

Ryder Cup A-Go-Go

When reading the title of this article by Alan Bastable about the USA Ryder Cup team, I first expected it to be a touch lame. Oh, US-Eh, haha, I see what you did there.

To be honest though, it's one of the funnier things I've read in MSM golf journalism in a while.

Honestly, is there a better way to explain the woes our Ryder Cup team is in than just to present the extremely weak team resume?

Kenny Perry (zero winning matches in his only Ryder Cup appearance), Phil Mickelson (sometimes changes equipment weeks before the event), Stewart Cink (if second place paid something at the Ryder Cup, he'd be the man to bank on)?

I hate to go ahead and toss myself off the Ryder Cup express before it even begins out of the station, but you'd have to think this is our worst group of guys ever, right?

You've heard me trash talk him before, but I think Davis Love III, if he could do something over the next couple of months, might be a decent captains pick.

He's got a ton of experience, has played on six Ryder Cup teams and might bring a veteran feel to a team that could be a ton of Cup virgins.

I guess with that, you could also say bringing Jack Nicklaus might not be a bad idea, and the way DLIII has played the last couple of years, it might be a touch more sensible.

Charles Barkley Shows Off His Latest "Golf Swing"

Charles Barkley is great for sports, we can all agree on that. He's hilarious with his basketball insight, he points out things you might not agree with but have to accept and he swings a golf club like he's trying out for "Dancing With the Stars."

His latest installment of the Barkley-Drive Tango came at last week's Nationwide Event.

Here is the video, and I'll allow you to watch it before I comment.

Ok, think he's got a problem mentally with the golf swing? Look at that practice swing. Straight back, straight through, absolutely no hitch or dip or stop or high five during his swing. Now, he gets over the ball and that happens?

Charles, I love you, but I really don't know if I could go 18 holes with you. I'm scared that might be contagious.

Drug Testing Day at the FanHaus

Tiger has knocked out two drug tests, without failing either.

Rocco Mediate is mad about drug testing.

That is all.

Not.......Worth........Addressing......Again.......

First, I'd like to explain that I find it weird to have a radio show called "Mike and Mike" when two others guys are working on it. I'm pretty sure this is why they changed the Dan Patrick show to the "Big Show" because people in the world aren't quick enough (including myself) to handle the confusion of a radio show with a name pegged to it when two complete strangers are babbling on about inaccuracies.

Anyway, this morning on "Mike and Mike," Osi Umenyiora of the New York Giants told the curious (sic) viewers who he thought would win the ESPY for Best Male Athlete. The nominees are Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriguez and Tiger Woods. Umenyiora's explanation of who he's not picking went something like this (and I didn't take the time to write his transcript down or anything, so it's all from my memory, which is extremely poor, but you'll get the crux of his rant).

A GOLFER on a list of best male athletes? That's crazy. A golfer should never be on this list. Not just Tiger, but any golfer. Golfers aren't athletes, they are fat, old men with receding hairlines (partially true for Tiger) and they have nothing on guys like A-Rod and Kobe Bryant."

Osi went on to say that he also believed Tom Brady wasn't an athlete, which cemented the fact that he's not only inaccurate but pretty arrogant and extremely ill-informed.

First, golfers aren't athletes, now quarterbacks aren't? Lets see here...they're involved in ever play on the field, touch the ball on ever offensive possession, have to throw a football down the field to a spot in hopes the receiver will get there while 300 pound defenders are running at you full speed trying to knock your helmet off and if the play breaks, you have to run with the football to gain as many yards as possible.

Wow, this paragraph had the following words -- offensive, throw, running at full speed, run, gain yards....yep, looks like an explanation fit for a curling team.

This isn't a football blog (obviously, footballs hurt my hands when people throw them hard) so we'll focus on the golf part, I just thought he was really stretching to make a tired point that only people that don't like golf agree with.

An "athlete" accusing a "golfer" or not being an "athlete?" I think it's worth noting that the golf season pretty much lasts all year, while football players, basketball players and such have an off-season that allows you to, well, be a co-host on a radio show. Just saying...

That Whole "Competing Without Winning" Conundrum

Ask Ty Tryon. Casey Wittenberg. Spencer Levin. Hell, even Sean O'Hair for a time. And most of all, call up Michelle Wie.

It is becoming more and more apparent as the days continue to pass that the "jump straight to the pros" idea in golf just isn't going to work.

Tryon was a prodigy, a kid that got his tour card at 17 through all places, the fires and pits of Qualifying School. He had won on the AJGA circuit, but jumped right into the PGA Tour as a talented but under-qualified golfer. In 2003, Tryon made four of 23 cuts, badly missing his chance at another full year and in '04 made just six of 22 cuts on the Nationwide Tour. He's a good example.

Wie is the perfect example.

The great Ron Sirak wrote a column about the crossroad Wie has found herself at, and it is exactly the Catch-22 you'd expect.

Wie just isn't doing much anymore. She's got negative karma coming from the LPGA players, a bad mindset you can see in her numbers (a 9 on a par-4 without losing a ball?) and possibly an overbearing father that needs to take a step back.

Whatever the path might be, Wie needs to do a few things.

She needs to figure out if it's school or golf, not both. You can't expect to be a top notch athlete (sorry Michael Lewis, game-player) when you're balancing the LPGA with the trials and tribulations of an elite university. You just are not. It's hard enough for college athletes to handle their respective sport and classes.

Second, Wie needs to figure out her flaws. We all know she can boom the ball off the tee, averaging 275 yards off the tee at the Women's U.S. Open, but 13 fairways in two days isn't going to cut it. Also, she averaged 30.5 putts per round last week, something that can't help balance an off-day striking the ball.

Finally, she needs to take Sirak's advice and figure out a rhythm.

Throughout her career, Wie has never played enough to get any momentum going -- not in junior golf, not as an amateur and not as a pro. But there is a way for her to get the tournament experience she needs: Write a letter to the LPGA and ask for a spot on the Duramed Futures Tour, a request that certainly would be granted.

I don't think she'd do it, but the idea isn't as crazy as it looks. Wie doesn't need the paycheck, but she does need the experience. At some point, she's going to have to find her own golfing personality, and until she's comfortable with that club in her hand on the big stage, it isn't going to come.

Did Somebody Roofie Me or Is This For Real?

I really don't have the energy to introduce this, so I'll just let the report take it away.

As if Tour purses weren’t incentive enough, a sponsorship initiative created by Eastman Kodak Co. and the PGA Tour will offer the prize to the winner of the inaugural Kodak Challenge.

Beginning in 2009, the Tour player who posts the lowest score relative to par over 18 “Kodak holes” – to be chosen from select tournaments throughout the season – earns the winner-take-all reward. Competition at the Kodak holes will be incorporated into tournament broadcasts, to some degree copying the way FedEx Cup standings are mentioned now, according to Tom Wade, the Tour’s chief marketing officer.

Oh peaches! We get to have bland announcers drop another sponsorship name while explaining to us what the fuck a Kodak Challenge is?

"Well Jimmy, that sure was a great shot Tom Purdy hit. Speaking of Purdy, did you know that Rod Pampling is leading the Kodak Challenge, a contest that spans 18 "purrdddy" holes across the country?"

"John (chuckles), i didn't know that. The Kodak Challenge, brought to you by Kodak."

If that doesn't make you want to Jimmy McNulty a bottle of Jameson right now, I don't know what would.

My favorite quote -- “As the leaders really start to take shape in the fall, it’s going to become a pretty big thing.”

Yeah, I'm sure PGA Tour stars are going to be dropping clubs in backswings and getting their caddies to step in lines in hopes of deterring someone from claiming the $1 million prize. $1 million. It's July 1 and 55 PGA Tour stars have made $1 million. You're Kodak for pete's sake, maybe make it a touch more interesting than a boring $1 million. It's 2008 people. Tiger wouldn't let you bring him his crutches for $1 million.

How to Put on the Perfect Fourth of July Scramble

Fourth of July is upon us, and because greater powers love 2008, it dropped on a Friday, giving us a three-day weekend to eat, drink, play golf and shoot off mini-bombs made with the precision of an elementary student's popsicle-stick house.

July 4th is to golf what New Years Eve is to amateur alcoholics. It gives people an excuse to drink, make bad decisions and end up in bed with someone who they won't remember in two days, but can justify it behind "Oh, it was New Years Eve, nobody wants to go home lonely." Just as many hacks out on the golf course this Friday with the excuse "It's July Fourth, I had to pull the clubs out of cobwebs."

This Friday all over the nation, scrambles will pop up with hamburgers, cheap domestic beer and the hope that you win some gift certificates in the pro shop or a flag tie for your dad. I've played in my fair share of golf scrambles, and here is my advise to putting on and participating in the perfect July 4th scramble.

1 PM Shotgun - This Thursday night, bars and house parties will be packed with people. In a town like Denver (my current home) there will be downtown fireworks, loaded streets and lots of Firework shots thrown down (a Starry Night, but call it a Firework on July 4th for added smiles). Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to wake up for an 8 AM shotgun. Also, if you have the 1 PM shotgun, it gives people time to finish the round, have a beer in the bar and round up the family for the obligatory firework show at your local club.

Never Pick the Teams - Hey, you know what's fun? Playing in a scramble on a holiday with complete strangers!!!! Seriously, never have a random team pick 'em. If you want the teams to be fair, require a min/max handicap system or flight the teams. Honestly, the whole weekend is based around family which means I do not want to play with Jannie and Frank from down the street. They suck, don't pair me up with them unless you want an "accidental" BlackCat situation. "I have no idea how those went off, I thought I blew out the fuse."

Gimmicks Are Great - Longest drive, closest to the putt, woodys, sandies, longest putt, best hairdo, worst matching shirt and shorts combo, best American flag collared shirt, it all works. Any gimmicky contest you have will improve the atmosphere surrounding the tournament.

An Event at the Pool - If there is a pool at your course, do all the things you'd do for the golfers there. Drinks, food, balloons, streamers, bring out all the works. It gives the wives or non-golfing husbands a place to take the kids.

Hot Dogs Before, Burgers After - It's July 4th, drop your damn diet for one day you lame ass. Have someone grilling out where you can smell the smoke and fat circulating in the air, and give people a chance to load up their meaty meal with ketchup, mustard, relish and some potato chips on the side. I was never a big Apple Pie guy, but bring some of that too. I want people to feel sick at the end of the day.

A Drink Cart Girl That Gets It - If you're a golfer, there is one thing that bothers you on the golf course (besides a group hitting in to you or a fried egg in the bunker) -- shitty cart girl service. Is it that hard? You see every group once an hour (four times a round) and don't lallygag between loops. On a holiday, especially this one, only have one of the four compartments reserved for non-alcoholic drinks, and stock the other 75 percent with as much beer as possible (adding a cooler in your shotgun rider's feet area is even better). Seriously, the more loops a cart girl makes, the more cash she brings in for both herself and the club. If you have a cart girl that has an IQ that could rival that number on the top of an iron, give her the day off. We need efficiency!

Make It as Easy as Possible - Golf beats people up 364 days of the year, let this day be different. Play the up tees for both men and women, put the pins in the middle of the green and offer mulligans. This is supposed to be a good experience and nobody has fun when they've made three pars in a row during a four person scramble.

Cash Payout - You're not hosting this for revenue, you're hosting it for enjoyment. Pay the winners in cash so they've got something to blow over the weekend (maybe at your course).

Fireworks After - This isn't even an option. Find a comfy hill, have someone grilling the previously mentioned hamburgers and get the golfers to invite their families. Also, it helps if you can find the craziest, bigger off-rocker kid in the club and get him to stage the firework show. Todd, I'm looking at you.

Lemonade Stand - Maybe the most American thing possible. Have some kiddos at one of the holes selling this stuff, and it will is a trigger to evoke a story from your dad and grandpa about when they used to do this stuff.

Leave Your Competitive Shoes on the Rack -It's not about winning or losing, it's about fun with your family or friends. If you're playing well, embrace it, if you're hacking it around, smile it off.

Alright, there are your suggestions for a successful Fourth of July scramble. If you have any points to add, shoot them in comments.

Tiger Woods, Either Better or Worse?

As you probably have heard ad nauseam at this point, Tiger Woods gave a 17 minute phone interview yesterday about golf his damn left knee.

The quote of the interview that struck me was this nugget.

"I've been trying to adjust over the years to alleviate some of the stress I put on my left leg,''' he said. "Basically, my left knee has been sore for 10, 12 years.

"It'll be nice to finally have a healthy leg.

Oh, a sore leg for 10-12 years, really? Isn't that crazy? I think some of the things he said in the interview were a touch exaggerated ("When I was practicing, it got to a point where I couldn't walk to the golf cart anymore,'' he said. "And that's not good when the cart is sitting 10 feet away.'') but if this is true, things could go one way or the other starting in 2009.

If Tiger's knee has hurt this bad for this long, an optimist might say he'll come back stronger, tougher, and without the wincing. He will be able to "pop" that left knee on his downswing and get full power without the pain. Hey, anyone up for a drink, Woods is going to dominate!!

The pessimist might interject that Woods will never be the same after surgery, pointing towards the likes of Ernie Els for an example (three majors before knee surgery, a big fat Baltimore baseball team since).

Or, if you were a doctor, per say, maybe you'd think this. "It'll be nice to finally have a healthy leg. Doctors have assured me my long-term health will be a heck of a lot better than it has been over the last decade, so I'm really looking forward to that and not feeling pain after I'm playing or while I'm playing." Oh, his doctor said that? Alright, maybe he'll be fine then (crawls in hole).

Anyway, as we continue to endure the long winter that is golf without Mr. Woods, the only thing we have in our arsenal right now is speculation. With that said, here is a list of people Woods should never hang out with -- Grant Hill, Anfernee Hardaway and Ken Griffey Jr.