Friday, March 13, 2009
Did You Know People Really, Really Hate Tiger Woods?
You'd be hard pressed to find someone that hates Tiger Woods as much as writer Chris Jones of Esquire. I mean, this guy's got some hate that would absolutely melt in your mouth.
The April issue of Esquire should be interesting, as Jones basically goes OFF on the best golfer in the world, and by going off, I mean hating his entire being. Like, for real.
“I’ve been asked to write about the return of Tiger Woods,” Jones writes in an article titled ‘My Vacation from Hate,’ “and the thought of his Chiclets reflected in another shining trophy makes me want to punch a hole in the moon even more than the storm that will soon swallow it.
“Because I entirely hate Tiger Woods.”
Jones goes on to write: “I hate how he sniffs after he makes a putt. I hate how he calls himself Woody when he talks to himself. (Because really, who gives himself not one but two nicknames? …) I hate his red shirt on Sundays. I hate his caddie, the worst New Zealander in history, and I hate the Nike flunky who trails behind him like a donkey on a rope.
I hate how he could change the world in ways both great and good, and instead he’s settled for being a corporate shill, the smallest of concentric circles. I hate that he snorkels. I hate how golf announcers say things like, ‘Tiger’s on the prowl!’ when he’s fourteen shots back. I hate his fist pumps and howls, and I hate the ‘Get in the hole!’ dunderheads he brings out.
I hate what he’s done to golf, period, which was a sweet and beautiful game before he turned it into NASCAR on grass.”
Dear God that is intense. After reading all that I actually went outside and kicked a puppy, just because I felt like it.
To be fair to Jones, I have never met nor talked to Tiger in his career, so the guy has a better grasp of who Woods really is way more than I ever will. What I've always got from Tiger is he is who he is and he isn't necessarily going to change that. If people don't like it, they don't like it and he just goes about his stuff.
Sure, I get annoyed with some of Tiger's "I'm always prepared, I never say anything negative, I'm stoic, rarrr" stuff, but the guy carries a persona the same way Michael Jordan did or Kobe Bryan does now. You have to when you are trying to be the best in the world.
Anyway, interesting stuff. I will be the first to purchase the April issue of Esquire just so I can see what else is in there.
Richard Schultz, PGA Tour/Getty Images