Tuesday, December 29, 2009

And Winner For "Least Likely Story Of the Day" Goes to the Sun!

Two things can be taken from the following story, reported from The Sun about our man Tiger Woods -- either the Sun has a ridiculous source yet they print it anyway (most likely!) or Tiger Woods is the dumbest human on Earth (least likely).

Oh, look, Tiger partying with a chick he banged while married!

LOVE rat Tiger Woods has been seen partying with his alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel, it was reported last night.
The golf legend has been in hiding for a month since the car crash that led to revelations he cheated on wife Elin Nordegren, 29, with several women.

But sources told a US TV show that Woods, 33, and Uchitel, 34, were spotted holding hands at a party in Palm Beach, Florida, on Sunday night.

Some sources told Entertainment Tonight they are living together in the Florida resort.

My favorite part of this story is his new nickname -- "Love Rat." I'm assuming they wanted to stick with the animal nickname to coincide with Tiger, while attempting to paint Woods as some despicable creature that carries the Bubonic Plague and eeks when you shine light in its eyes.

Too bad rhinoceroses aren't known for their cheating ways. I would have loved to read, "Love rhinoceros Tiger Woods ..."

Oh, and the percentage chance of this story actually being true are between 0.00029 and the chance I have of bagging Mila Kunis and Alesandra Ambrosio in the same night. Watch out ladies, a golf blogger is heading your way!

1 comment:

courtgolf said...

I love these stories. Nobody ever seems to bother with common sense questions like "if he's at a party, there are a lot of other people there - so where is the proof ?" or "if they are living together, where are the neighbors who would see him leaving or arriving ?"

Just once, I'd like to see one of these tabloids put stories like these under the heading "rumors for lemmings".