Tuesday, December 8, 2009
You Like Apples? Well, John Daly Wants Matt Damon to Play Him in a Movie ... How Do You Like Those Apples?
I believe John Daly when he says he has changed. He sure seems a bit more together these days and, well, after all the Tiger Woods news Daly could wreck his RV into a military hospital while drinking Jack Daniels and still wouldn't have as tarnished an image.
With that said, I'd like to personally congratulate Daly on making me spit out my coffee this morning while reading about his ideas for a movie about himself. Read that again. John Daly wants someone to produce a movie about him! Cue the steel guitar!
"I just saw Matt Damon, how he swung a golf club, and I thought if I ever made a movie, I want him to be me," Daly said. "The tough part is who would play me at 290 pounds. Now Kevin James, he's my bud, but he'd be good."
When asked what the main storyline might be, he said: "It would just be the life, it would be the whole thing. The guts of it all."
"The problem is who is going to play all the ex-wives?" added Daly, who has four ex-wives, to laughter.
So, basically this would be Bagger Vance meets Happy Gilmore, only with more trashed hotel rooms and songs about Rolexes.
The good news is, even if Damon decided to take this role, which would be very, very unlikely, it still wouldn't trump that decision he made to be a part of "Stuck on You," the movie equivalent of banging a porn star when you're married.
The only downside to this decision is that Daly wants to include Kevin James, who makes me laugh as much as tsunamis. If that happens I will not be paying any amount of dinero to go see this. PAUL BLART MALL COP I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR WHISTLE!