Thursday, December 24, 2009

Your 2009 PGA Tour Players Wish List

Since Christmas is tomorrow, and golf news has come to a screeching halt (seriously, where are all these other chicks Tiger slept with? I figured we'd get at least 40-50 but nobody has come forward in over a week? Maybe he killed the others.), I decided it was time for a wish list from some of our PGA Tour players for the holiday.

Here is what I expect most famous golfers are wishing for comes under their tree manana.

Sergio Garcia -- For the last 10 years back

John Daly -- That somehow Lap Band and Jack Daniels merge and form some sort of mega-whisky stomach diet that would make Daly turn into Benjamin Button.

Tom Watson -- That the R & A decide that 72 holes at Turnberry were too tough this year, and change the results to only reflect 71.

Kenny Perry -- The exact same as Tom, except at a course further west.

Camilo Villegas -- /forgets wish list ... continues to do sit-ups

Tim Finchem -- That the taste of revolver wasn't so "metallic-y."


Phil Mickelson -- After the last month, absolutely and utterly nothing.

Anthony Kim -- That 2009 ends very, very quickly.

David Duval -- That every tournament decides to be played at Bethpage Black.

Jack Nicklaus -- That Tiger takes his advice and sits this year out. The majors aren't set up for him anyway, eh Jack?

Arnold Palmer -- Screw it ... Arnie, thank you for creating the best drink to come our way since Diet Dr. Pepper.

Tiger Woods -- That the world continues the forgive our collective sports heros, even if they screwed things up pretty bad.

Oh, and women will still sleep with him. I'm thinking he's going to want that as well.

Got anymore? Add 'em up. Merry Christmas from DTCC.