Thursday, April 30, 2009

Since I have officially taken over title of Fashion Police, please click over to FanHouse and check out John Daly's outfit from today in Spain. His pants can best be described as "what happens when muddled colors melt." [Golf FanHouse]

Phil Mickelson's Fashion Has Officially Double Bogeyed the 18th at Winged Foot

Listen, Phil Mickelson has come back in my good graces the last few months. His play against Tiger Woods in the final round of the Masters was pretty ballsy, even if he struggled on the back nine (granted, it was still a 67, so there's that). Mickelson has lost weight and started working out and looks about as good as when he first wore the conquistador helmet in Tucson.

That said, the guy's fashion right now is as erratic as his tee shots can be. We all know about the white belt Phil pulled out months ago to much chagrin. Now, on a day where Tiger posted a 7-under 65 at Quail Hollow, Phil has gone with the green shirt and green belt! Evidence is above, but I'm awaiting a Getty Images photo of his cream pants and white shoes as well.

I'm putting out a watch on The Golf Girl right now. She might have to tackle Phil if he continues down this fashion path.

Picture Update: Here is Philly with the white shoes, courtesy of Streeter Lecka of Getty Images, who might have the best name of anyone ever. Streeter!

Scott Halleran, Getty Images

Tiger Woods Fires 65 at Quail Hollow

Things that you can bank on -- at least once an hour someone at the office coughs and someone around that person says, "Uh oh, sounds like swine flu." My columns having errors and Tiger Woods gaining control of a tournament and hardly ever giving it up.

His 7-under 65 at Quail Hollow on Thursday was pretty nasty. A 35 on his front nine coupled with a 6-under 30 to close, that included a triplet of closing birdies.

The last time Tiger shot a 65 was at the Buick Invitational in 2008. He won that tournament. Do you expect anything less at Quail Hollow this week?

(Also, not to brag, but I Tweeted this on Wednesday. I'm a genius! A genius!!!)

Streeter Lecka, Getty Images

How Not To Do St. Andrews

It is one of the best kept secrets in golf. To play St. Andrews, all you really have to do is show up in the quaint, Scottish town and saunter up to the starter's box. If you have the £110 to tee it up, and you're alone, you will get on the Old Course. I did it back in 2004. Studying abroad in London, my uncle and I flew up to the storied links to play a little golf. The day after we'd beat it around the Old Course and tried our hand at St. Andrew's Jubilee Course, the weather turned and my uncle wasn't exactly in a bad weather golf mode. So, instead of heading across the water to Carnoustie, I decided to walk on as a single at the Old Course. Just 30 minutes later I was on the tee with a group of Danish buddies.

Golf Digest's Peter Finch wrote a detailed feature about St. Andrews and how, if you don't watch it, you can be paying way more than necessary.

First thing to avoid when booking a trip to St. Andrews is a company called the Old Course Experience. Golf Digest outlines how they can rip you off on a trip, pointing to a package that can run you $3,500 to get to tell people you've hit out of the Road Hole Bunker. The caddies at St. Andrews hate the Old Course Experience. The reasoning is simple. The OCE includes the caddie fee into their price, so it guarantees the caddies make just £50. Caddying at the Old Course for an entire summer, I can tell you that £50 is basically like leaving your waitress 10 percent. If you did a good job, which most of the caddies over there do, you are supposed to leave £60, and you can go above and beyond that if you feel so inclined.

Check out the article for even more in depth information about prices and how to do St. Andrews the right way. Honestly, if you want a good place to say, I'll suggest two places. The Dunvegan, which is a bar you will visit even if you don't stay there for your trip, or the Braeside Inn, a fun little bed and breakfast with great people and amazing food in the morning (also, you might get to see a picture of the owner wearing a kilt at Augusta National).

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The White House Backyard Is Cooler Than Your Backyard

You know why being president is awesome? You get your own airplane, your own helicopter and if you're a golfer, you get a putting green in the backyard.

Oh, and you're the most powerful person in the entire world. I guess that ain't half bad either.

Pete Souza

Halloween in April

These are pictures of John Daly in Spain. I already wrote my thoughts about his outfit over at FanHouse, but I must post them here or my mother would disown me. Also, Jay Busbee tipped me off to Daly, so read his article as well. He's funnier than I am anyway.

Yeah, here is Daly in Spain. If you see him, make sure you only give one or two pieces of candy.

(Also, in all seriousness he looks pretty darn good, if you can somehow not look directly at his ridiculous outfit. Oh, and past the hair. He looks like what would happen if Eminem and Elton John had a kid.)

Warren Little, Getty Images

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Get Set For the Miller Chill Invitational

I have never understood the snag in using alcohol as a sponsor in certain sporting events (the NFL doesn't seem to have a problem with it), but the PGA Tour is different and likes to avoid using a company that sells alcohol as their main squeeze.

Well, up until now. According to Jon Show of the Sports Business Journal said that the PGA Tour is really looking into allowing "spirit" (that means alcohol ... hehe) companies to headline events.

Executives at PGA Tour headquarters are taking their most serious look yet at loosening rules that prevent spirit companies from buying tournament title sponsorships or traditional endorsements with players, said multiple sources familiar with the talks. Industry sources estimated the category could be worth up to $50 million a year in new sponsorship dollars.

The PGA Tour has considered such a move before but didn’t take action because of the stigma attached to the category, said a tour source. The PGA Tour’s board of directors would have to approve any change in the rules, and there is no firm timetable for a decision.

I'm all for this. You can say whatever you want about my following point, but alcohol and golf were made for each other. Hell, a beer company once signed maybe the least beer-drinking fellow in the world, Sergio Garcia, to a sponsorship deal, so at least Michelob Ultra understands it.

I think this makes good business sense. Hire a spirit company to headline some events, cash in on the easy money and understand that just because the event is called the Makers Mark Shootout, people aren't going to start hiding whiskey bottles behind their computer screens at work.

h/t Waggle Room
A pretty interesting interview with Tom Fazio. He admits he's never talked design with Tiger Woods and says if he had one golf course to play the rest of his life it would be Pine Valley. Question I wish Golf Digest would have asked Mr. Fazio -- why do you make your courses so damn hard? [Golf Digest]

Padraig Harrington Is Cool, Helpful

I won't lie. As little television as I actually watch, Sports Science is an absolutely awesome show. The guys basically do what we are all thinking.

In one of their latest episodes, the golfers got Padraig Harrington to come help out with one of the most interesting questions a hacker might have -- can the Happy Gilmore swing really add more yards?

The video is below, but it's pretty interesting. Harrington, who averages 107 MPH clubhead speed, hit 114 when taking the running start. Also, the ball went 30 yards further. Happy Gilmore time, anyone?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Oh Dear Lord

I try a lot of things on Mondays to not have a beer. I'll go to the gym or hit some range balls late in the afternoon or even go see a movie. I try try try try try to not have a beer at the start of the week so I'm productive and Cleveland Golf has to come out and make a camouflage wedge, thus forcing me to drive my little sled down to the convenience store and buy as many brewskis as possible.

Why Cleveland Golf? Why are you doing this to me? If the USGA had some sense, they'd make these non-conforming.

Jim Gaffigan summed this up best.

Gaffigan - "I'm moving a little slow tonight, I had a Hot Pocket for dinner."

"(Audience applauds and cheers)."

Gaffigan - "Good to see I'm not the only white trash here."

Have a good rest of your Monday.
Ryan at Waggle Room talks about how Turnberry might not be ready for the British Open. I guess they renovated the hotel and it is going to be a close call on getting it totally ready for the Open, July 16-19. I will tell you this ... I've been to Turnberry, and stayed in that hotel, and if that place isn't ready, there are going to be very few places to crash around that area. [Waggle Room]

Video Blog Your Way to Bethpage

I'm an idiot, and have no idea how a camera works and/or how people do that thing where you can cut from one image to another without just moving the camera that way, so I'm out, but you might not be.

The World Golf Tour has launched a search for a Golf Video Blogger (trumpets sound) and I really hope one of you can do this, because it's awesome.

All you have to do is shoot a 1-2 minute video of yourself reporting, upload it to YouTube with the tag "2009virtualusopen_contest_yourwgtusername" (So, mine would be, "2009virtualusopen_contest_idiotblogger") and you could have the chance to roll out to Bethpage and video blog from the course during the tournament this year.

Here are the dates:

* May 11: Deadline to submit video entry
* May 21: Winner announcement
* May 25 - June 23: 2009 Virtual U.S. Open
* June 15 - 19: 2009 U.S. Open practice rounds at Bethpage Black

Get it in gear, and if you win, I'll even include something golfy since you are way more qualified than I. Probably some Pro V1s or a golf club or something.

Tiger Is Expensive

Do you remember when Tiger Woods announced that he'd be hitting up the Australian Masters in November? It was good news for everyone except, well, Australians. The people were upset that they would have to pay taxes for Mr. Woods ridiculously high appearance fee, and now it seems the regular public won't even be able to watch him.

Via Local Knowledge

Now, it seems, that even for $1.5 million, the taxpayers probably won't be able to watch Woods play -- even on television. The Daily Telegraph is reporting that IMG is asking $3 million for broadcast rights, and each of the three commercial networks that could air it on free television say the price is too steep. As of now, it will likely go to a pay TV entity, the newspaper is reporting.

Wow, pay-per-view golf? Really? I mean, I know Tiger is a superstar and all, but would you really pay to watch him tee it up in a tournament that isn't a major? I feel pretty bad for the Australian public. While Tiger seems to land that type of money in other venues around the world, asking $3 million for television rights in this day and age is pretty contemptible.

I'd really hate to see how much tickets will be to this thing.

Fernando Medina, NBA/Getty Images

Barack Obama Plays Some Golf

Barack Obama teed it up this past week in his first round as president. No word on his score, but I'm sure all the political pundits will spend 11 hours today talking about how he could have done so much more with what he had and how he's was pretty disappointing in his first six holes as a president. [FanHouse]

JIM WATSON, AFP/Getty Images

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Just One Simple Question ...

Does anyone think Rory Sabbatini's sunglasses are cool? I'm honestly asking, because I need to know if I'm being too hard on the guy.

Dave Martin, Getty Images

Friday, April 24, 2009

Tiger Woods commits to Quail Hollow next week and the Players the following week. What do you think the bet in Vegas is that he wins one of the two? I'd say you couldn't get even odds. I think he takes Quail but continues to struggle a bit at Sawgrass. But, this is also coming from a guy that laughed for about an hour yesterday with this YouTube clip. I might not be your best source for "expert analysis." [FanHouse]

A Headline Makers Dream

You know, people tend to try really hard in headlines. You get things like the Chicago Bulls losing on Thursday to the Boston Celtics and people writing stuff like, "Veteran Celtics Full of No Bull," or "Bull Market in Boston."

I'm going to toss this one out there for free, because I'm a helpful person and I try to make life easier for others (the last sentence is not really true).

If Charlie Wi can continue to play well at the Zurich Classic and Michelle Wie can leapfrog Lorena Ochoa over at the Corona Championship, the golf headline will basically be made for everyone.

"Wi(e) leads both tournaments"
"Golf Is Full of Wi"

I won't even ask for a credit.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

What Is Going On?

Tiger Woods swung by the White House last week to hang out with Barack Obama (I never thought we'd have a president cool enough to have athletes just swing by to hang. I don't think George W. could have convinced a homeless dude to swing by in his last three years in office).

For some reason, this picture really amuses me. What are they doing? I think they are either ...

A.) Shaking hands with the only other person in our country more famous than those two.
B.) Trying to perfect the high five that Tiger can never really land.
C.) Tango-ing.
D.) Seeing if they wore the exact same suit, had the same haircut and did the same motion with their hand, if anyone could tell the two apart.

I'm going with C. I really think Tiger is a solid dancer and he probably just wanted to sweep Barack off his feet. I mean, can you blame him?

Courtesy of The White House/Getty Images

Adam Scott Is Best With No Major?

Forbes did a report on who they thought was the best golfer without a major championship. While most would agree it is Sergio Garcia, Forbes went a little deeper and came up with Adam Scott, who makes all the ladies say holla.

I wrote my little piece over at FanHouse. Check it.

David Cannon, Getty Images

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A pretty cool story I wrote over at FanHouse yesterday about Nick Price possibly giving up his spot in this year's Open Championship to a younger player with a possibility of making a memory. Price has always been a stand-up guy and I really respect this decision. Too many times guys want to continue their legacy instead of letting someone else step in and try to make a name for themselves, especially with the length off the tee to do so. [Golf FanHouse]

Wow ... Phil Mickelson Is Pretty Badass

The Scotsman wrote a story about Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods at the Masters, blah blah blah, they don't like each other. The article does include this little exchange between Mickelson and Nick Faldo at the Champions Dinner at the Masters that basically makes me like Mickelson about 420 percent more than I did when I woke up this morning.

Phil (loud enough for everyone to hear): "Gee Nick, I didn't realize that you are such a big guy. How come you used to hit it so short?"

Faldo: "Listen Phil, when you shoot 19 under par to win the Open at St Andrews you can start giving me a hard time."

Phil: "I understand that. But how come you hit it like such a pussy?"

Faldo: "I played golf the proper way."

Phil: "Yeah, like my wife."

Well played, Mr. Mickelson. Also, Faldo's comeback was about Tiger? He couldn't have said something like, "Well, you overweight pansy, unlike Winged Foot, I tend not to hit tee shots off tents when I'm leading an Open Championship. If you want, you can swing by sometime and check out my six major championships." He had to lean on Tiger about it? Weak sauce, Faldo.

The other part about this I find hilarious is how obsessed Mickelson is with distance. We all remember what Phil had to say about Tiger when he did the whole "he hates that I fly it past him" thing a few years back. Now, all he can talk about is distance with Faldo?

You know when a really douchey guy has a really nice car and tends to rev the engine when you're at a stoplight? You know what you always think about that guy? Yeah, I feel the same way about Mickelson sometimes. (I'm talking about a small penis!)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Kenny Perry Is a Good Guy

If you missed E:60 on Tuesday, you missed this incredible story about DJ Gregory. My typing won't give it credit, so just watch the 12 minute video and enjoy.

Wait, What?

Some of us golf bloggers on the web do a fairly good job at sending around our content if we find it fit for the other writers. This morning, my inbox was brighten with the follow e-mail from Jay Busbee -- "Four words: Ghetto Golf, the videogame." What. The. Hell.

Apparently, some videogame is trying to get picked up called "Ghetto Golf," where you basically run around beating the hell out of anything and everything with a golf club. It has golf balls that explode and have spikes in them and are rubber.

I'm not even sure if there is golf involved or if it is just beating shit up like you are John Daly's hotel room. I'm not a big video game guy, because I'd rather go outside than sit around acting like I'm playing golf, but this seems a bit much.

Our kids are already screwed up. Just wait three months and you won't even be safe at your golf course.

Old Man: Hey Johnny, you going out to play 18 holes?

5-year-old Johnny: Take this, bitch. /hits Old Man with golf club. //Hits him again.

Waggle Room Auction For Charity

Ryan Ballengee, purveyor of Waggle Room, had a brilliant idea -- eBay most of the golf items he received for review and give that money to charity.

On Monday, he put up a Slotline putter you can bid on right here. It is up to $128, so you'd be getting the putter at a serious discount.

All the proceeds will be heading to the American Cancer Society, so start tossing some money his way and help a good cause. Ryan, you a better man than I.

Is Women Paying Less At Golf Courses A Crazy Idea?

An idea was brought up last week by Brandon Tucker of the World Golf Blog about the different in a typical round for a woman as opposed to a man. His idea was pretty simple -- women should pay less when playing a golf course. His points? Not so simple.

The first one makes sense when looking at it from a business standpoint. He comments that women play less of each golf course than men, and that is a smaller percentage of the product they are paying to use, so it should be discounted for the ladies. The only problem with this is, if you did that to women, you'd have to do it to older men playing the up tees and maybe even boost the price for guys tipping the course out. While the yardage of the golf course might change (he thinks 10-20 percent off is fair), they are still taking as many shots as a man would, thus using the golf course in a similar fashion.

His second reason really threw me for a loop. He say that women tend to spend more in golf shops, so the price should be discounted in order to draw more women in, thus boosting their pro shop sales. Have you ever been out with men between the ages of 35-70? All they wear is golf shirts from different golf courses around the world. Buying a golf shirt in a pro shop is like man's tourist photo. It shows they were there and is a small little memory they can wear when going out for dinner. I'd almost argue that men spend more than women do. When is the last time you heard of a women buying a sleeve of Pro V1x balls in the pro shop, which are usually marked up to $16 or $18? I rest my case.

He also pointed out that men spray the ball more off the tee into other fairways, so lawsuits occur. I mean, this just seems like a huge stretch and not totally relevant. So women never hit their balls in other fairways? Is there a stat on this?

He points out that women play faster, which may or may not be true. I'd say women probably play faster, but not for the points he makes. I think they play faster because they aren't searching the woods or desert for golf balls on half the holes. Swing speeds are slower, so a miss will still probably find the grass. No matter, I'd like numbers to back this up. I've played with women that are slooooooooow just like I've played with men that have made me want to quit after the front nine.

Oh, and this was great.

Lastly, fellas, we should remember that women pay wayyyyyyy more for haircuts than us.

I'm assuming Brandon was being facetious, so in that case, he had me chuckling.

If you want more women to play golf, you need to find a way to get them on the course at an early age. Ladies take up the game in two junctures ... early age when their fathers teach them or later in life to spend more time with their husbands.

If you want more women on the golf course, get to them as early as possible.

Now Bostoners Will Have More To Do Than Run Marathons

I have never lived in the East Coast, because I actually enjoy doing things outside and am not a huge fan of that rash long underwear gives you when you wear it for six months straight. As a golf fan, I've always found it interesting that people can live in a place that doesn't allow you to tee it up for months.

Well, people in Boston can rejoice, because TaylorMade is opening a Performance Lab in their area to allow them to get fit and ready for when the snow melts.

TaylorMade Performance Labs, the premier custom golf club fitting company, announced the opening of its sixth U.S. location at The International in Boston. Beginning April 27, TaylorMade Performance Lab’s certified professionals will fit men, women and junior golfers of all ages and abilities to a custom set of TaylorMade® golf clubs using an exclusive technology previously available only to Tour professionals, called Motion Analysis Technology by TaylorMade (MAT-T).

To date, TaylorMade Performance Labs has six U.S. locations including The International: The Four Seasons Resort in North San Diego, The Desert Springs Marriott in Palm Springs, The Hyatt Grand Cypress Resort in Orlando, Olympia Fields Country Club in Chicago and Reynolds Plantation in Greensboro, GA. There are also three international locations in South Africa, Spain and Dubai.

I would have to say, if I could pick a place to get fit, it would totally be the location in Spain. I wonder if Sergio Garcia has ever been to it. He probably did, but complained about the greens. Zing!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Another One Bites The Dust

If you thought the LPGA was in trouble, you haven't seen anything yet. According to the Associated Press, the Corning Classic, the longest running LPGA tournament with the same sponsor and same venue will be history after this season. Yikes.

Corning Inc. Executive Vice President Kirk Legg made the announcement Monday afternoon at the Corning Country Club. He says the tournament has lost $500,000 in sponsorships and has not been able to replace the lost revenue.

Corning has been restructuring recently and laid off 3,500 people from its global work force. Legg says financing the tournament is no longer a viable expense.

Tournament president Jack Benjamin also says attendance is down in recent years, and fewer volunteers are coming out to help.

I mean, wow. This tournament has been around for 31 years and is crapping out after 2009. If the LPGA can't keep a tradition like this around, how are other tournaments going to withstand the economic downfall?

I'm really not trying to sound like Debbie Downer right now, but if the LPGA doesn't watch out, there might not be a tour come the next decade.

Kyle Auclair, Getty Images

What Driver Do You Use?

Recently I've had my hands on the really solid TaylorMade r9 driver, along with the Titleist D2. Brian Gay used the r9 to win the Verizon Heritage, making it the No. 1 most played driver 11 out of the 12 weeks this season.

With TaylorMade coming out with a driver that you can basically change on your own and Nike doing something similar with Dymo, I was wondering what most golf fans are playing these days.

If you have a new driver (or are still using an old one), shoot what you are hitting in the comments. I'm interested in any and all feedback, so let your club do the talking (but, you know, type out what it is saying).

If we get enough comments about it, I will toss up something outlining what people are saying about different clubs.
Tiger Woods might already have a victory to his name this season, but his stats are down in almost every category. I did a little study on it and put the research on FanHouse. My head hurts from all the numbers. Gross! [FanHouse]

This Is More Like It

And people say men can't change!

Rory Sabbatini, on Saturday at Harbour Town, wore these dashing pants and white shirt, a style that looks pretty good on the ex-Wildcat. We tend to dog Sabbatini's outfits, but I have to give credit when credit is due.

Now, as for those sunglasses ...

Streeter Lecka, Getty Images

Sunday, April 19, 2009

This Jacket Is Nice

I was thinking about this today. What is your thought on the last hole, when you have a ten shot lead? Brian Gay, well done. Wow.

Streeter Lecka, Getty Images

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Headline Of The Day

This is the AP article about Todd Hamilton's recent play.

"Hamilton hopes revival continues"

Really? I thought he loved missing cuts. The Associated Press is like my ex-girlfriend ... I'm never right.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Final Putt: Our New Friday Feature

Since there isn't really any semblance or order to Dogs That Chase Cars, why not have some sort of Friday feature that wraps up all you've missed in the week of golf? While I must admit, I spent most of the week watching Susan Boyle's YouTube video (and it maybe, possibly, got a tad dusty in my apartment), there was plenty to be heard in the world of golf. Here are some of the highlights.

--My dad summed it up best when he said this -- "Angel Cabrera has to be the only golfer in the history of the Masters to shank a shot in the final round and still win the darn thing."

--Lesslye Perry came into our world.

--Sergio Garcia admitted to us he hates Augusta National.

--Rory Sabbatini dresses himself with a blindfold on.

That is all for us from a wonderful week of golf. Enjoy the weekend and give the guy you're playing a couple of extra strokes.
I will admit this to everyone and not be ashamed -- I have never made a hole-in-one. I have come very, very, very close, even hitting a couple I thought were in, only to go up and see them hiding directly behind the pin, but I've never recorded an ace. Brendon Todd, Nationwide Tour star, has recorded two on the same hole in consecutive rounds at the even this week. Umm, wow? [FanHouse]

Boo Weekley Needs His Own Reality TV Show

I'm laying down the gauntlet today. Consider Friday, April 17 the day I challenged "The Golf Channel" to something. TGC, you guys have all the opportunity in the world. You are starting to get it with The Big Break. You are killing it with The Haney Project. Now, leader of TGC, I ask for this -- a reality television show that just follows Boo Weekley around in his everyday life.

Last week Boo was on a radio show and was asked a few question including what he thought of the Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson showdown at Augusta National and the eventual ending to the tournament.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t watch none of it, to see what Tiger and them did. I turned it on and I watched Kenny birdie the 16th hole and was like, “well he’s won this one and congratulations to Kenny” you know and next thing you know I go upstairs and I’m getting all my stuff organized in the room I’m staying in and I hear my ma and pa down here hollering and screaming like someone done jumped in here trying to scalp ‘em and I didn’t know what was going on and I ended up watching the golf and the ending and Cabrera and the whole deal.”

The guy is Lee Trevino with a camo hat. He needs to be followed with cameras. I want to watch him cooking dinner, talking to friends, and dipping. I do not think it is fair that this hasn't been available to us yet. TGC, if you need writers to help come up with this idea, just e-mail me. I will fly to Florida in about 20 seconds.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Did You Really Think Rory Sabbatini Would Let Us Down After Augusta?

The above picture is that of Rory Sabbatini during his first round at Harbor Town. Since I don't really have a job other than to sit at home all day eating Flaming Hots and writing random quips about sports, I tuned in to the first round action and immediately caught sight of what Sabbatini was wearing.

Ok, here is a game we will play together called, "What is Sadder?"

What is sadder? That I ...

A.) Had a Getty Images tab opened most of the day/night, refreshing Rory Sabbatini's name in the search box in hopes that they had snagged a picture of him in these ridiculous pants with that belt so I could put it on the website.

B.) Actually got more excited when it finally came than anything else that happened all day, and that includes getting brand new Golf Pride Brushed Cotton Technology grips in the mail that I will have put on my clubs first thing in the morning.

C.) Own a pair of shorts that are the exact same color as Rory's pants that I am currently making fun of.

You pick. I'm going with "C," and just to prove to you that I'm not lying, here is a picture of the shorts (I had to sharpen it a tad because the lights in my place suck), with one of the new grips in front of it so you can totally grasp how simple my life really is. Enjoy.

Rory Pictures Courtesy of Streeter Lecka, Getty Images ... Shorts Picture Courtesy of the Man That Owns a "We're #1" Finger Puppet

Gillette Knows What The Kids Want

The razor you use says a lot about you. If you're tough, you use a straight blade, no shaving cream. If you're cheap, you might go with some sort of disposable razor that pulls the hairs out of your chin (fun!). If you're confident, or so says Gillette, you use whatever the hell Tiger Woods, Roger Federer and Derek Jeter tell you to use. Do you hear me?!? You use what they want you to use!!!

The only reason I'm posting the video is because Tiger confuses me. The guy is so cool and collected on the golf course and in interviews, and then he goes and does a commercial like this? I know that Gillette is paying him, but I always thought Tiger was the kind of guy that would speak up and say, "Yeah, guys, the golf shoe joke is a bit much." Who knows, maybe I'm wrong.

Well Done, LPGA

If you were sitting around wondering, "Man, what the heck has been happening with the California legislature lately," you've come to the right place. On the heels of the LPGA attempting to force players to learn and speak English, which they immediately yanked when the uproar began, the California Senate made it illegal to hold any event where English-only is a statute.

From the AP ...

The California Senate has voted to make it illegal to hold events that require participants to speak English in a move prompted by the LPGA Tour's English-only proposal.

The LPGA backed off the plan after Sen. Leland Yee and others criticized it as discriminatory. Yee says the proposal insulted women, minorities and immigrants, and might disqualify the best golfers.

The San Francisco Democrat's bill makes such policies illegal in California without a "business necessity." It was approved Thursday 21-14 without debate.

Looking back on this whole English-only plan by the LPGA really shows how hard the tour struggles with sponsors and pro-am chemistry. Not only was the idea ridiculous from a political standpoint, but the United States is a land of opportunity and a melting pot for just about anyone with a brain and an idea. Voicing this idea in a meeting behind closed doors was one thing. Sending out a presser saying it was going into effect was a whole other monster.

At least it prompted a state to take a stand against such actions. For that, the LPGA deserves a feather in their American-made cap.

Adam Scott Does Not Understand Blogging, one of the best websites in the history of the world (well, besides that video on the right, but even Mila Kunis has had a pimple in her life), had a link today to "Adam Scott's Blog." The headline to the story reads, "Scott Blog: Reflecting on the Masters."

This is Adam's introduction.

I hope this email finds everyone well.

Wait, this whole time I've been running Dogs That Chase Cars, the damn thing has been nothing but an e-mail chain? Blogger! You fooled me again!

I have no idea why I even am posting on that, but probably because the most interesting golf story right now is the Boo Weekley defending at Harbor Town, and I'm way more interested in how much camo Weekley plans to wear today. I'm going with three pieces. "I really don't like talking about my flair."

Just Another Reason Why Being Poor Stinks

One of my favorite golf conversations is when my buddies and I are trying to figure out where to play on the weekends.

"Hey buddy, Southern Dunes is pretty solid, and it on for $70?"

"(Dead silence)"

"Oh, is $70 too much?"

Basically, golf is expensive and it helps if you are really, really rich because you don't have to worry about it. Irons cost $1,000. Drivers cost $400. Good golf costs over $100. Even beers on the golf course are so expensive you'd have thought the Miller Brewing Plant had made that one just for you.

LinksLifeGolf did a little investigating on "Golf Digest's Top 100 Course" and how much it would cost to play them. The numbers are startling.

Pebble Beach Golf Links: Greens Fees are $495 and you have to stay on site at $595 per night, with a two night minimum (2 per room). That’s $1090 per round. One time before I die!

Shadow Creek, Las Vegas: This course is owned by MGM Mirage Properties, the Steve Wynn casinos. The only chance of getting on this is if you are a high roller staying at a MGM property. They don’t have any prices on the website either. If you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it.

Back when I was working my days at Troon North Golf Club, we had one of those always interesting "team building meetings" where you spend half your day listening to someone talk that is way too excited for how much they get paid, and we learned that the average Troon North golfer makes over $!50,000 a year. I guess that means my blogging career better take off SOON.

Oh, and a quick disclaimer -- if you make over $150,000 a year, tip the guy that cleans your clubs $5. If you don't, there is a fairly good chance your clubs will "accidentally" fall off the cart on the way up to bag drop, because you sir are a cheap ass.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Boo Weekley Is Ready For Anything

I have zero idea how I missed this last week, but it is worth mentioning. The outfit you see above was worn by Boo Weekley at the Masters, that is played at Augusta National.

I have a question. How can a golf course that kicked Gary McCord from any future broadcasts because he made a "bikini wax" and "body bags" jokes allow a man to wear a camo-laced shirt and orange hunting hat? Do you know why hunters wear bright orange? It's because other hunters can see you in the trees, but deer are red-green color blind so orange doesn't show up to them.

I am starting to come around on Boo Weekley. The guy might play a little too much to his character, but it's funny as hell he sported a camouflage ensemble, convincing his sponsors to make camo clothing, to play golf. The guy is one of a kind, that's for sure.

Jamie Squire, Getty Images
Alan Shipnuck wrote an incredible article for Sports Illustrated about Angel Cabrera and all he's been through. It's a great read. Also, Angel ate nine cheeseburgers after he won the Masters. Nine! []

Kenny Perry Finished Bogey-Bogey, Just Not With His Daughter

I hate to get all T&A on you here with the latest two posts, but I wanted to bring something up. In my marathon live blog this past Sunday during the Masters, I mentioned this as CBS was scanning Kenny Perry's family watching the 48-year-old play the 18th hole.

6:51 PM: Should I say it? Okay, I'll say it. Kenny's daughter is pretty hot. I'm sure she is like 15 though and I'll get in trouble by my editors for saying it. Whatever. You know you were thinking it too.

It turns out, via The World of Issac, that his daughter is years older than 15. She might be 18. Or even 19! Oh, and she's a Tennessee Titans cheerleader and way, way hotter than I initially thought. Also, I'll call your hot golfer daughter and raise you a thick, thick Southern accent.

Here is Lesslye Perry's YouTube video. Lesslye, a little piece of advice a few of my friends would probably agree on ... "DON'T GET YOUR CPA! DON'T DO IT! YOU WILL WORK 400 HOURS A WEEK AND HATE YOUR LIFE! MARRY ANTHONY KIM OR SOMETHING! HE WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU!!!"

That is all. Enjoy the video. She's cute.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Blair O'Neal Will Force Me To Watch "The Big Break"

While I've never been a "Big Break" watcher (not huge into reality television unless it involves Anthony Kim dogging Charles Barkley), I will make you this promise -- the cast this season has the show destined for DVR status.

Cash at Bushwood Country Club landed another interview with one of the contestants, Blair O'Neal, and, well, she's makes up about 93 percent of the reason I'm going to watch this show.

You can check out the interview here, and I'm not even mad that she went to ASU ... not everyone can get into U of A.

Tiger Woods Wants an Olympic Gold

Tiger Woods could win 40 major championships. Nike could change the symbol from the Swoosh to Woods' billion-dollar smile. He could even become the first ever professional athlete-Vice President, and he still wouldn't have one thing Michael Jordan has ... a gold medal. Well, maybe until 2016.

Tiger was one of 18 top golfers to push for golf in the Olympics, which would be just about as awesome as anything I could think of. I hope during the opening ceremonies Woods has to hit a flop shot with the ball on fire to light the torch. Tell me you wouldn't tune in to see that?

Tiger Woods is one of 18 of the world's leading golfers to back the International Golf Federation's bid to have the sport included in the 2016 Olympic Games.

Woods has written personally and sent a 32-page brochure outlining the bid to the International Olympic Committee.

Ireland's Padraig Harrington, winner of two majors last year; Fiji's Vijay Singh; Europe 2010 Ryder Cup captain Colin Montgomerie; and Spain's Sergio Garcia also have written to their respective Olympic committee representatives to try and restore golf to the Olympic lineup for the first time in more than 100 years.

I'm in on this idea. Totally, 100 percent in. Golf in the Olympics? What next, Lucky Charms on a pizza?

Sergio Garcia Is Sorry for Acting Like Sergio Garcia

If you didn't catch the video of Sergio Garcia blaming Augusta National for his inability to play better at this year's Masters, take a second to go back in time.

Unlike the "spitting in the cup" incident where Sergio said after, "I didn't spit, I just let it go down, anyway, it's not a big deal," Garcia has apologized and blamed himself.

"Following my final round at the Masters, I made comments in an interview that I regret and want to apologize for," he said.

"Out of frustration, I blamed the golf course instead of putting the blame where it belongs, on myself.

“I didn’t get it done this week. Augusta National is one of the most iconic golf courses in the game and playing in the Masters each year is an honor. I apologize to the members of Augusta National and the fans who rightfully treasure this golf course.”

It is pretty obvious in my writing that I'm not a fan of Garcia, but at least he decided to man up, even if his camp was the one that made him do it.

The next major championship is at a place that basically tore Sergio a new one in '02 when he waggled his way around Bethpage Black, so it would be in his best interest to be as polite and non-controversial as possible before the U.S. Open. Hell, maybe he will win the darn thing and make us all forget everything that's happened.

A John Daly Interview Unlike Any Other

There is a page click rule amongst golf bloggers on the Internet, and it's a fairly simple formula. Tiger Woods + John Daly + Hot Female Golfers = views. It is like the Pythagorean Theorem, only a tad more whorish. Normally with Daly, you're writing something up like, "Big John loses $700,000 betting on a dead horse," or "Daly gets thrown out of strip club for taking off shirt." You don't normally get an interview like 790 The Zone did during Masters week. Make sure you click the link to check out the full interview, but here is my favorite line.

On gambling/playing the ponies:

“Nah, I haven’t been doing that either. Hell, I’m broke, bub, can’t do it. Economy’s so bad, slot machines are cold, everything’s cold, they got everything set so no one can win.”

In related news, playing the slots is the right-field of Las Vegas. If you're going to lose money, at least have some fun with it, like playing Blackjack or going to a strip club. Both carry about the same odds for a win.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Sergio Garcia is Smart

You know what will make you popular with the golf world, if you're a millionaire professional golfer that is already universally disliked? Complain about the most famous piece of land with little flags attached to it in the world.

Oh, hey there Sergio Garcia, didn't see you there. Got anything to say about Augusta National?

Yeah, that Augusta National, a real shithole.

Do you think Sergio's publicist just carries around Aleve like most of us carry Chapstick? The person has to, right? Garcia hasn't made a good publicity move in ten years, and was on fire here yet again.

Hey Serg, next year, if you don't like Augusta this much, don't play. I know about 50 billion people that would take your place in an instant, and 48 billion of them are probably less bitchy than you (the other 2 billion ... the Taliban).

Worst Dressed on Sunday at the Masters

I have to say, major championship might not give us the winner we were hoping for, but they do give us the opportunity to see golfers try and dress. It's pretty cute actually.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out who looked the most ridiculous. Shingo Katayama wore a curled cowboy hat, a rope around his neck and some sort of pastel shirt to go with Easter.

Rory Sabbatini was ... well ... I mean, what in the hell is this?

Also, Hunter Mahan is in the mix with the "H" belt buckle. I like Mahan, but this is pretty ridiculous.

Anyway, let me know who you think was the ugliest. Sabbatini gets my vote. He looked like a moron all week long.

Getty Images

Are You Happy Angel Won?

I'm not one to sit here and lie to you ... when the Masters was unfolding, Angel Cabrera was probably the one golfer on the leaderboard I wasn't really pulling for.

I love Kenny Perry. I think Chad Campbell has the game to win multiple major championships (and it would have been to hear his wife sing "Earl" at the jacket ceremony). Obviously Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson coming from that far behind would have been the golf story of this decade. I even pulled for my fellow Arizona Wildcat Jim Furyk, who could never get something after his double-bogey on No. 9.

Why no love for Cabrera? Well, a multiple of reasons. First, I think it is hard to relate to someone that doesn't speak your language. I don't find it offensive he isn't an English speaker, because I can barely order a beer and a taco south of the border without someone looking at me cross-eyed. He seems like a good guy, and even has a great nickname (The Duck, for how he walks).

He played the best golf coming down the stretch and is a deserving Masters champion. Cabrera is quickly becoming the anti-Sergio, playing better in the big tournaments instead of worse. This is his second major championship victory in the last eight contested, tying him with Tiger over that same stretch and putting both one major back of Padraig Harrington during that time period.

Was I rooting for Angel to win? Honestly, not really. Was I happy to see the most deserving guy claim the green jacket? Absolutely, I always am.

To be fair, I'm happy for anything that doesn't involve me having to listen to Nick Faldo talk about anything ever again.

Andrew Redington, Getty Images

FanHouse Podcast, Masters Edition

If you're bored, or want to hear my annoying lovely voice on a Monday morning, swing on over to FanHouse and check out our Masters podcast recorded last night.

To highlight some of the points -- Angel Cabrera, Tiger Woods and the fact that Nick Faldo nearly made my ears bleed.

This Picture Raises One, Simple Question ...

Why in the world does Trevor Immelman still have highlights? Did he have a Sadie Hawkins Dance to attend immediately after the Masters? Seriously, why the hell does every golfer dress like, and I'm quoting Kenny Powers here, "a fucking dickhead?"

Andrew Redington, Getty Images

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Angel Cabrera Wins 2009 Masters

Kenny Perry was sitting on the tee at 17 with one arm slowly making its way into the green jacket. Perry needed to make a par on one of the last two holes to win his first major championship at the ripe age of 48.

He bogeyed the last two holes and then bogeyed his second playoff hole and Angel Cabrera just hung around, hoping something might happen to give him a shot.

Cabrera made par on the second playoff hole to win an absolutely fantastic Masters. Congrats to Angel, and to Kenny, we feel for you. Don't beat yourself up too bad. It was a valiant effort.

More to come tomorrow. Augusta National, we will miss you.


Masters Live Blog

Sorry for not posting this earlier, but I'm running a live blog over at FanHouse. Come check it out. This Masters is awesome, btw.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Kid Jokes Are Hilarious Fellas

If you've spent the last two days working and not sitting on your couch watching hours of golf (points to self) then you've missed out on a few things; the beauty of Augusta, the phenomenal play by both Kenny Perry and Chad Campbell and the pairing of Anthony Kim, Ryo Ishikawa and Rory McIlroy.

It was a treat to see the three young guns play together, but what wasn't a treat was the announcers (and writers, it appears) to leave the kid jokes alone. At one point on Thursday the announcers joked as this final pairing was making their way up 18 that it was nearly their bedtime. Hillllarious.

Today, as I was reading over some golf stuff, I ran across this gem.

They may be hot stuff, winning tournaments when most kids their age are trying to figure out who to take to the prom. When it comes to the biggest tournaments, however, they still have a lot to learn.

Get it? Because young people go to prom and usually don't play professional golf. I mean, these are just golden. I'm pretty disappointed, though. No diaper jokes? They couldn't have hurt my abdominal muscles with a clever "I wonder what time recess is" killer?

Moral of the story -- if you're old, making a joke about a young kid is really funny. Do it whenever you can.

David Cannon, Getty Images

Friday, April 10, 2009

Anthony Kim Breaks Another Record

On Thursday, Chad Campbell broke the Masters record for birdies to start a tournament with five. Campbell then nearly tied the course record at Augusta National but bogeyed the last two holes for a 65.

Today, Anthony Kim added his own record with 11 birdies in the second round. This is his scorecard, below. Wow.

I really didn't expect anything from Kim this week, but that just goes to show that if there is one rule to follow in life, it is this one -- I'm a moron. That is all.

Live Chat at FanHouse

Come join me in the Masters live chat. It should be fun. I'm making funny faces.

Phil Mickelson Has Started Dressing European

I'm not complaining about Phil Mickelson's wardrobe, it just isn't really him. On Thursday, while went with the all back, short-short sleeves and the white belt and white shoes combo.

Now today, Phil has gone white pants and the doo-doo golf shirt. Do you like his new look?

Both Photos Courtesy of Getty Images

Tiger Woods Has That Same Confused Look

I mentioned this a couple of times before the week started, but the last few years, Augusta National has bothered Tiger Woods.

It is the only time I can remember that Tiger was confused. He seemed dumbfounded by the greens. The wind is really confusing him on approach shots. He isn't making those signature putts we are used to him making. The 17th yesterday was as far from Tiger as I've ever seen.

If Tiger can get it honed it, everything will be fine. Right now, he is 2-under through 10 holes and just seven shots back of Chad Campbell, it just doesn't seem like Tiger is totally comfortable out on the golf course like he usually is.

Other Observations

--Watching the early Masters Extra coverage of Amen Corner and 15 and 16, one of the announcers said "Kenny Perry is the best player in the world to not have won a major." I love Kenny, but really? Sergio Garcia? Adam Scott? Colin Montgomerie, Justin Rose, Anthony Kim, Hunter Mahan?

--Kenny Perry has birdied the 12th both times this week.

--I set the over/under on balls in the water at 12 at 22.5 as a joke. I don't think that is too far off right now.

--Hunter Mahan has made 11 birdies this week and just two bogeys. The problem is, he has two double-bogeys and a triple. Ouch.

Andrew Redington, Getty Images

Getting to Know Chad Campbell

Sure, he's won four times on the PGA Tour, including the 2003 Tour Championship when Chad Campbell fired a third round 61, but a lot of people might not know a lot about him.

He's from Andrews, Texas. He went to UNLV. He is 34. He's been on three Ryder Cup teams.

What you might not know is his success on the Hooters Tour. Before joining the PGA Tour, Campbell was basically the Tiger Woods of the Hooters Tour, winning eight times in 2000 and having five wins previous to that. After his success on the Hooters, Campbell moved up to the Nationwide in '01 and won three tournaments, earning a battlefield exemption into the PGA Tour.

In 2006, Campbell finishing t-3 at the Masters and was runner-up to Shaun Micheel at the PGA Championship in '03.

Does Campbell have the game to win a major? I believe so. He is 4-under today to move to 11-under for the tournament.

Jamie Squire, Getty Images