"Hey honey, I know it seems we always do things I want to do, but there is this really elite PGA Tour event in town this weekend and I was wondering if you'd mind coming with me on Sunday?"
"To go watch golf? Live?"
"Yes honey, I know it sounds a little boring, but I promise you'll enjoy it. It is some of the most focused athletes in the world, and the course is absolutely magnificent. They call it the Blue Monster."
"Sounds like something from Dora the Explorer, but fine, we can go, just let me wear one of your golf hats and promise to not let me do anything stupid."
"Okay, you really only need to know a couple of things. Don't talk when the players are hitting and don't go under the ropes. That's it."
"Sounds easy enough."
/cut to three days later, on the 17th hole as Charl Schwartzel misses the fairway right.
"Oh look dear, a golf ball for free!"
/husband tackles wife
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?"
"Well honey, it appears I forgot to tell you the third rule. You cant steal the player's golf ball during the tournament."