Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rick Reilly Continues to Be a Douche, Even in Scotland

Everyone gets dethroned. Roger Federer isn't the top tennis player in the world. The Dallas Cowboys haven't won a Super Bowl since the first Bush was around. Carbs have taken a serious hit.

Back in the '90s, Rick Reilly was journalism's Zeus. He was the man that forced every sports fan to flip to the back of their Sports Illustrated the moment they pulled it out of the mailbox. He was king, and he knew it.

But then Reilly started to mail things in, and talk about teeth, and become arguably the biggest d-bag in journalism (Not to mention he once cussed me out on the phone when I called about an internship ... classy guy, that Reilly). People in sports hate him because he's easy to hate, and he isn't really funny anymore and him and Chris Berman need to find a nice Igloo somewhere in Northern Greenland and leave us all alone.

Of Course Rick is at the British Open this week, and tossed this exchanged at Phil Mickelson, a man Rick once said, "is a roller coaster in an earthquake. One shot will be so inspired you'll cover your mouth in astonishment. The next will be so Spam-brained you'll slap your forehead in disbelief. It's like watching a blind guy jaywalk across Hollywood and Vine. Your fist is in your mouth the whole way."

Here is the exchange from Rick and Phil on Tuesday at St. Andrews.

Reilly: In the history of the rankings, no one has spent even close to the amount of weeks you have at number two, does that bug you?

Mickelson: Does it bug me?

Reilly: No one has been number two longer, not even close.

Mickelson: I don't know, Rick. Give me something else here, what else you got for me. I'll go with Option B, what's your next question?

Reilly: We're trying to get to this number one thing, but you don't seem to care about it.

Mickelson: Oh no, I care, I think it would be something that if I were to accomplish in my career and I have some chances here it would be something for one week or a month or a year or however long, just to be abel to say you did it, especially in Tiger's era would be incredible. I know my window of opportunity is small because Tiger is going to start playing some of his better golf here soon and I have to get my butt in gear, I'm going to be trying hard to do that this week.

Reilly: Second question ,give a percentage, 0 to 100, probability of Tiger passing Jack?

Mickelson: I know it is more in his favor of doing it, absolutely.

Reilly: Number?

Mickelson: Just because you ask the question doesn't mean I have to answer it as you phrase it. It's in his favor, I don't know what number that is, but it's in his favor.

It's funny that he compared Phil's golf game to a "blind guy jaywalk" when that is exactly what it feels like when Rick talks. You aren't cool, you aren't funny and you're barely relevant anymore. All the ideas ESPN has tossed at Reilly haven't worked, mainly because his journalism style makes him the Brad Faxon in a world of Bubba Watsons. He keeps poking out lazy 800-word columns while the rest of the world spends hours on the Internet each day.

I know Reilly is a better writer than I'll ever be, but I can guarantee you this; he is a far worst person, and I'm happy to say that as long as I'm breathing, I'll never reach the status of dickhead that he has. Keep plugging away at your ridiculous columns, Rick, and we will continue not to read them.


courtgolf said...

I guess I'm the exception and not the rule, but Reilley was one of the main reasons I stopped reading SI. He always wants to make himself the story, not the athlete or event - and I can't abide that in a sports writer.

Roody said...

A couple years ago I read his book "Who's Your Caddy?" and I thought it was an enjoyable read. Before then I hadn't paid much attention to Reilly. Ever since the read I have paid more attention, and the more the guy opens his mouth the less I like him.

I wouldn't go as far as to say I completely dislike him, but I see the path heading in that direction. Douche is a good word for him.

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