Thursday, October 14, 2010

Charlie Rymer, You're Silly


It appeared that this week Charlie Rymer took time out of his busy crying schedule to write a "10 ways to improve golf" piece for The Golf Channel.

Some of the things you'd expect to see from such an article; don't play by the same rules as pros, play less holes for more fun, set tee times right when the sun comes up, but the best one, the BEST SUGGESTION I'VE EVER HEARD EVER, came with this little gem from Rymer.

2) Players choose which tees they play from. They should also be able to choose the size of the hole they play to. Courses should have a regulation hole and a 10-inch hole on every green. This would have a major impact on pace of play and enjoyment.

PLAY TO A DIFFERENT CUP SIZE*!?!! THIS IS BRILLIANT! You know when you're playing pickup basketball, and there is the 10-foot hoop and then the one next to it that is 7-feet, with a rim twice the size and a mini trampoline in front of it for us "regular basketball players"? That is the same thing as this!

Why putt to that itty-bitty hole when you can putt to a GIGANTIC HOLE THAT EVERY BALL WILL FALL INTO? Oh, and of COURSE this will increase the pace of play, because, as we all know, it is how long amateurs take on the greens that slows the round down, not them searching in the rough and the hazard and the bushes for their lost ball, along with them taking seven shots to get on the green.

Other Rymer Sports Suggestions

-- Rookie major league baseball players only get change-ups thrown at them, because they aren't as used to the really fast pitches as experienced guys in the league.
-- Swimmers that aren't Olympic level must only train in the baby pool.
-- Non-Grandmaster chess players must only play chess with checkers pieces.
-- High school football games must be flag.
-- Mediocre tennis players must use doubles court even if playing singles.
-- Pool tables at bars must make pockets five feet wide.
-- Rafael Nadal must wear ankle weights in hope of leveling the playing field in pro tennis.

* = toughest "Tiger-bra" joke I've ever had to avoid in my life

5 comments:

Cam said...

Don't avoid the jokes, embrace them!

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