Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The World Is Ending Soon, Tiger Gambling Edition
I have some very, very bad news for those worried the world is ending in just a few months; oddsmakers have Tiger Woods as the favorite to win at the Players Championship this week.
Tiger is a 14-to-1 favorite to win at TPC Sawgrass, a course he has struggled at in the past (sans 2001), not to mention the fact that Tuesday was the first time Woods had played golf since the Masters. That was just nine holes, so I'm sure he's primed and ready to go at one of the toughest venues in the game.
I mean, I can't even muster enough energy to yell at people about this. Okay, maybe I can. THEY MAKE THESE ODDS BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE BETTING THEM!!! STOP IT! WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU GIVING VEGAS OR OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS YOUR MONEY BETTING ON TIGER?!!? HE ISN'T GOING TO WIN THIS WEEK!
Geez. I hate to go all Lewis Black on you there, but I think we all needed it. Tiger has as good a chance to win at the Players as Craig Perks, and I'd have to go check and see if Perks is even in the field this week.
Just stop it. If you're going to bet on golf, which is about as smart as trying to putt with an ethernet cord, at least put it on some of the long shots. Graeme McDowell is 66-to-1. Matteo Manassero is 80-to-1. Y.E. Yang is 100-to-1. At least then you'll win some decent money if your blind shot in the dark can pull it out this week in Florida. But I'm sure a ton of people stumbling around a casino will see Tiger at such a "value" and toss five bucks on him. "Hey, he's got to bust out of this slump at some point," they'll slobber to their friends as they finish the last of their 68-ounce Strip mixed drink.